Things To Say

Over the past few weeks I have found that I have a lot to say.  I have a lot of feelings I am struggling to be at peace with and lots of ideas about things I want to collaborate on. I am practically boiling over. So much so that I find myself talking to myself in my head about things.  This just leaves me feeling trapped and hopeless that I am ever going to get it all out. It's not organized or even flowing in some kind of understandable fashion.  Its just there swirling around and around and around with no where to go. I am feeling pulled into new directions that I never thought I would be serious about. Pulled toward things I thought I had long past decided to leave behind.  I am struggling for understanding a world bigger than me, an understanding of the unseen. I have pain, anger and resentment. My heart is heavy thinking of the future. My body is full of anxiety and excitement about things to come.

I am really just walking circles in my head. Where does it start? Where does it end?  Is it all one circle or many different circles? Are there answers? Solutions? A path? What am I missing? It is really quite stressful. I wish for simpler things and simpler thoughts. I wish there was a way to get it all out and breathe a sigh of relief about it.  I just don't know how long that will take or how it will help. I don't know where the first step is.

I am tired.  I need a place to put all of this. A place to be heard.

I have a Question

So this morning as I was waiting for my breakfast at the cafeteria I was watching a special on what couples do with their extra embryos after fertility treatment. It was said that 33 precent donate to other couples and up to 66 percent donate to science. Either one of these options is fine by me, but this is not my question.


My question is more directed to the people who believe the embryo has a soul. The people who think the minute conception happens, God has given the mass of cells a soul. What exactly does the "soul" do while it's waiting on ice? If the embryo is sitting for a few years, then is the "soul" just sitting there waiting? And is it really cold?

Yes I know a sick/strange/jerky question to ask, but I must know.