I think I can officially put aside all my childhood and early adulthood drama, discontent and bitterness. Actually I know I can and have. I am truly an adult not only physically, but mentally. It's a great feeling. I have put aside the past and stopped judging here and now with it. Today is today. Yesterday has no effect on it.
My dad and his wife came out to spend a short weekend with us. They finally met Skip. They got to catch up with Aiden and they got to see me as an adult who has an understanding. I felt like I was actually able to have a bond without fear and anger for the first time. I can actually be with my dad and know he was probably never the bad guy I was forced to believe in.
I have a bit of sadness about all the wasted years, but I know the rest won't go to the same waste.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Who Comes First In Your House?
Just got done reading a FABULOUS post by Shelia over at To Love, Honor and Vacuum about your husband trumping your children. Having your relationship with your partner always come first in your home is something I have always thought was important. I grew up with what I believe was a mother who clearly put my brother and I first and it resulted in us kids living through their terrible relationship and divorce. It cheated me out of a dad and a healthy up bringing.
The fact of the matter is no child wants to live without both parents. If that can be prevented, why aren't more people putting forth the effort? The comment by a reader that started Sheila's post on an article she wrote about making your bedroom a kid free zone was this," while you can divorce your husband, most women wouldn't dream of divorcing their kids." To be quite honest with you, if you have to enter a marriage with the thought that someday you may need to divorce, then you need to not walk down the isle. I wish I would have thought about that harder the first time around. If anything having children makes the father an absolute permanent figure in your life for the rest of your life! Even if he takes off, gets killed or some other man adopts your children. Your children are half the person you made a promise to. You will forever have to look into their eyes and remember that. PERIOD.
Just remember that an ounce of prevention is worth saving yourself a lifetime of problems. Dote on your husband, nurture your marriage and through that, your children are also nurtured. Ultimately they are put first through your relationship by insuring a safe and stable home with two parents they need. You and your husband should be one unit. A unit cannot separate and go its own way.
The fact of the matter is no child wants to live without both parents. If that can be prevented, why aren't more people putting forth the effort? The comment by a reader that started Sheila's post on an article she wrote about making your bedroom a kid free zone was this," while you can divorce your husband, most women wouldn't dream of divorcing their kids." To be quite honest with you, if you have to enter a marriage with the thought that someday you may need to divorce, then you need to not walk down the isle. I wish I would have thought about that harder the first time around. If anything having children makes the father an absolute permanent figure in your life for the rest of your life! Even if he takes off, gets killed or some other man adopts your children. Your children are half the person you made a promise to. You will forever have to look into their eyes and remember that. PERIOD.
Just remember that an ounce of prevention is worth saving yourself a lifetime of problems. Dote on your husband, nurture your marriage and through that, your children are also nurtured. Ultimately they are put first through your relationship by insuring a safe and stable home with two parents they need. You and your husband should be one unit. A unit cannot separate and go its own way.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Week 5 Check In
Well we missed the all powerful week 4 check in, as that was supposed to be the goal of our experiment. Instead we have opted to make grain free living a lifestyle. We both have much more energy, less bloating and feeling sick after eating as well as a slow down in having a ravenous appetite. Aiden has become a much better eater. We are not seeing the pickieness at the table as we used to. We are learning new ways to cook and also eating new things. We are becoming more aware of our shopping decisions as well as what we are putting into our bodies and why.
Skip's weight and inches continue to drop, as does fasting glucose levels. Since I am back on track since my Mother's Day devastation, I am also back to losing weight, getting smaller measurements and my fasting glucose has improved dramatically. I can officially say my levels are under 100mg fasting. And that's the direction we need to be heading.
Healthy living is hard work when living so unhealthy is easy. I find myself looking in other people's carts and looking at them and then wondering how this kind of change could positively change their lives. I talk to friends and family and tell them about the changes, yet I see no one looking to change themselves. I feel like everyone is a slave to living easy.
I will just continue posting progress in hopes to inspire someone.
Skip's weight and inches continue to drop, as does fasting glucose levels. Since I am back on track since my Mother's Day devastation, I am also back to losing weight, getting smaller measurements and my fasting glucose has improved dramatically. I can officially say my levels are under 100mg fasting. And that's the direction we need to be heading.
Healthy living is hard work when living so unhealthy is easy. I find myself looking in other people's carts and looking at them and then wondering how this kind of change could positively change their lives. I talk to friends and family and tell them about the changes, yet I see no one looking to change themselves. I feel like everyone is a slave to living easy.
I will just continue posting progress in hopes to inspire someone.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Social Networking, where does it cross the line?
I am extremely picky about the people I choose to keep on my Facebook page. Most are all good friends from back home and it gives me a way to stay connected on a daily basis through small talk, games and photos. It's a wonderful thing when we don't always have the time to pick up a phone. I have 46 friends on that page, and I think like 3 of them I don't actually know and use for games. Those are set up in my privacy settings to not see my personal wall posts. I have over time removed "friends" for being over the top with their posts and detailing too much personal information to the world. I feel like the personal details of ones life should be left for personal blogging or messaging. Perhaps I am just prudy like that.
I do not care to see messages of hate spewed all over my wall. I do not like to see gory details of personal happenings. I cannot stand to see people criticize their spouses in negative ways. I think it is very inappropriate. At some point we threw out our ability to know what is personal and what is not. Now every aspect of our lives are played out on social networking sites without second thoughts.
I think it is important to value your privacy as well as the privacy of your family during certain events. I understand that we all need support during times in our lives and that is why we are a social creature. I have written about personal things here in this blog, but I know that only my closest friends tend to read this, but this also a safe place for me to write my feelings and experiences, this blog is a personal hobby. There are plenty of personal things I have not put here, and plenty of things I have put here without spewing all the gory details.
So the next time you open your FB page and go to write something, make sure you aren't betraying yourself or your family. Make sure it is written in good taste and that is doesn't relay messages of hate or hurt. I still want to see your pictures, I still want to know where you went shopping. I still want to be able to give words of encouragement when you are having a bad day. If you think your page is being poisoned by those around you, delete them. It's worth it.
I do not care to see messages of hate spewed all over my wall. I do not like to see gory details of personal happenings. I cannot stand to see people criticize their spouses in negative ways. I think it is very inappropriate. At some point we threw out our ability to know what is personal and what is not. Now every aspect of our lives are played out on social networking sites without second thoughts.
I think it is important to value your privacy as well as the privacy of your family during certain events. I understand that we all need support during times in our lives and that is why we are a social creature. I have written about personal things here in this blog, but I know that only my closest friends tend to read this, but this also a safe place for me to write my feelings and experiences, this blog is a personal hobby. There are plenty of personal things I have not put here, and plenty of things I have put here without spewing all the gory details.
So the next time you open your FB page and go to write something, make sure you aren't betraying yourself or your family. Make sure it is written in good taste and that is doesn't relay messages of hate or hurt. I still want to see your pictures, I still want to know where you went shopping. I still want to be able to give words of encouragement when you are having a bad day. If you think your page is being poisoned by those around you, delete them. It's worth it.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Another Loss
I used to be one of those girls that thought no matter the situation, abortion was OK. It's a woman's body and its her choice to do what she wanted with it. A baby wasn't a baby until it was born. Period. I would argue someone about it and think them narrow minded and selfish for thinking otherwise. Anti-abortion activists made me angry and I wanted every sticker Planned Parenthood had to offer to put on my car.
Then I had Aiden. In the beginning I fought with wanting an abortion because of the situation I was in, but I was lucky enough to have a friend talk me off the edge. By the end of that pregnancy I regarded new life in a new way. I wasn't as gung ho about thinking everyone had the right to an abortion, but the notion was still there.
Last Mother's Day I lost a very unexpected, but very wanted and loved pregnancy. It was at that point I realized that I could no longer comprehend why anyone would willingly kill life they had growing inside of them. The loss was earth shattering and I knew at that point, no matter what my situation, I would NEVER ever consider killing life I created. I would never look at a person the same who would knowingly abort a perfectly healthy pregnancy.
It's Mother's Day again, and I again sit here this morning losing a second very much loved and wanted baby. It's something I have no say in. All I can do is let it pass. While I go through this with sorrow and anger, there will be countless other mothers killing their own for selfish reasons. Babies that could be born healthy and that could be loved the way I have already loved what I have lost.
Then I had Aiden. In the beginning I fought with wanting an abortion because of the situation I was in, but I was lucky enough to have a friend talk me off the edge. By the end of that pregnancy I regarded new life in a new way. I wasn't as gung ho about thinking everyone had the right to an abortion, but the notion was still there.
Last Mother's Day I lost a very unexpected, but very wanted and loved pregnancy. It was at that point I realized that I could no longer comprehend why anyone would willingly kill life they had growing inside of them. The loss was earth shattering and I knew at that point, no matter what my situation, I would NEVER ever consider killing life I created. I would never look at a person the same who would knowingly abort a perfectly healthy pregnancy.
It's Mother's Day again, and I again sit here this morning losing a second very much loved and wanted baby. It's something I have no say in. All I can do is let it pass. While I go through this with sorrow and anger, there will be countless other mothers killing their own for selfish reasons. Babies that could be born healthy and that could be loved the way I have already loved what I have lost.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Technology and Your Relationship
It's Wifey Wednesday again. I am trying very hard to participate every week. This weeks topic on Shelia's Blog is about drawing the line with texting and Facebook. This is really a subject Skip and I don't really have an issue with. We know who the other is texting and more than half the time we are talking about what we are texting or I am doing it for Skip since he can't see the darn screen anyways. Same goes for chatting over FB. We are friends with each other so there is no hiding posts or comments and we both frequently scroll through each others pages to see what's going on. I remain friends with some of my guy friends and he has been found by many of his old "girl friends" from way back. There has never been an issue. He doesn't actually chat with them.
I suppose it could be very easy to get into a virtual "affair" by not actually thinking you aren't doing anything wrong. It might start with some memories about the old days and then before you know it this old flame becomes a confident and then it's this crazy spiral into something you never expected. I see it all the time from women writing into columns about old lovers finding them I personally can't get my head around it. I think it kind of goes back to what I said last week, want what you already have and you won't find yourself longing for more when you "go back" with this friend of yours.
Shelia says if you have to hide whats on your phone or computer, things have gone too far. I could not agree more. Skip and I often sit side by side with phones or computers and never had to turn a screen away. Our phones do not have passwords and we also have email access to each others account. It's not like we are checking on each other because we don't have trust, it's because there isn't any need for the privacy.
Perhaps that's where your technology relationship should start with each other, not needing the privacy. Once you need that, it's all over.
On a side note, my friends on FB irritate me more than Skip.
**EDIT** I was contacted by a good friend's husband last nite that encouraged us to password our smart phones based on the fact that if we lost them, our info could quite easily get us in some serious trouble. He does software security and purposely thinks of ways to steal people's information. So on that note, phones are passworded, but we still both have access. Never thought about the theft part before.
I suppose it could be very easy to get into a virtual "affair" by not actually thinking you aren't doing anything wrong. It might start with some memories about the old days and then before you know it this old flame becomes a confident and then it's this crazy spiral into something you never expected. I see it all the time from women writing into columns about old lovers finding them I personally can't get my head around it. I think it kind of goes back to what I said last week, want what you already have and you won't find yourself longing for more when you "go back" with this friend of yours.
Shelia says if you have to hide whats on your phone or computer, things have gone too far. I could not agree more. Skip and I often sit side by side with phones or computers and never had to turn a screen away. Our phones do not have passwords and we also have email access to each others account. It's not like we are checking on each other because we don't have trust, it's because there isn't any need for the privacy.
Perhaps that's where your technology relationship should start with each other, not needing the privacy. Once you need that, it's all over.
On a side note, my friends on FB irritate me more than Skip.
**EDIT** I was contacted by a good friend's husband last nite that encouraged us to password our smart phones based on the fact that if we lost them, our info could quite easily get us in some serious trouble. He does software security and purposely thinks of ways to steal people's information. So on that note, phones are passworded, but we still both have access. Never thought about the theft part before.
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Death Penalty
In light of the entire death of Bin Laden I have seen people over joyed about his death and people proclaiming that that killing of another man no matter what, is wrong. I am a strong believer in justice and the death penalty. I believe it absolutely has it's place in all societies. I believe our country is more than capable of using it in a fair manner.
Before you start hollering "Cruel and Unusual" punishment at me, lets take a look at those terms and their definitions.
The word "Cruel" is defined by Merriam Webster as:
disposed to inflict pain or suffering : devoid of humane feelings, cruel tyrant
I would say in our country we execute a person in a swift and painless manner. Executions are now done by lethal injection. It's done quick and painlessly. They even sterilize a fresh needle for the inmate. I would say this is having feelings for the last moments of their life. They are not crying out in pain, they are not cut up and left to bleed out. I believe we give them more respect at death than they probably gave their victim. In my eyes, the death penalty cannot be defined as cruel. It is done humanely.
The word "Unusual" is defined by Merriam Webster as:
not usual : uncommon, rare
Ok that doesn't tell us much, so lets look at uncommon and rare, shall we.
Rare: seldom occurring or found
Uncommon: not ordinarily encountered
So what this says is "unusual" means it's something that is not common, not heard of. Something you don't hear about. We have been executing people since 1608. That means we have records of execution for 403 years. The death penalty is not a new thing. Since it's not new, it cannot be uncommon.
I personally feel the argument of "cruel and unusual punishment" a moot point by definition. Now what is cruel is the fact the average time a prisoner will spend on death row is over a decade in solitary confinement. It is cruel that we don't just get it done in a timely fashion, not only for the inmate but Americans that pay taxes. On average it costs 50 thousand dollars per year per inmate to maintain them. There are currently 1,246 inmates on death row. That's $62,300,000 a year to maintain people that have been sentenced by their peers to die. Now remember that 10 year average....you can do the math I am sure. 34 of 50 states in our country allow a death penalty ruling.
Each of these people have gone to trial, evidence presented and convicted by a jury of their peers. Average Americans picked for jury duty. While I understand mistakes have been made and people are let out of prison after DNA had proved them innocent, these people have spent enough time there to prove their case in our technological age. Not to mention they will continue to have time to repeal because of how long they are forced to spend there waiting.
I do not under any circumstances rejoice, party, or feel happy when an inmates sentence is carried out. However I do believe many of the victims families are given closure to their great losses. And that's the way it should be. It will never bring back lost loved ones, but the criminal doesn't get the satisfaction of living when they took someone else.
Bin Laden was not tried, we as Americans were never shown actual evidence of his crime, only that "intelligence" was able to prove he was the mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks. He was killed in a fire fight during an operation to capture him. It was more than likely not an "execution" so much as it was our forces protecting themselves as they are trained to do. Police officers in our country practice the same actions when being shot at. Just as with the death penalty, no one should be celebrating, cheering or rejoicing in the death of another human. Instead they should stop and wonder if justice was actually carried out in this case. And if the accusations are in fact true, we can feel a small amount of closure and hope for the end of this war.
http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/
Before you start hollering "Cruel and Unusual" punishment at me, lets take a look at those terms and their definitions.
The word "Cruel" is defined by Merriam Webster as:
disposed to inflict pain or suffering : devoid of humane feelings, cruel tyrant
I would say in our country we execute a person in a swift and painless manner. Executions are now done by lethal injection. It's done quick and painlessly. They even sterilize a fresh needle for the inmate. I would say this is having feelings for the last moments of their life. They are not crying out in pain, they are not cut up and left to bleed out. I believe we give them more respect at death than they probably gave their victim. In my eyes, the death penalty cannot be defined as cruel. It is done humanely.
The word "Unusual" is defined by Merriam Webster as:
not usual : uncommon, rare
Ok that doesn't tell us much, so lets look at uncommon and rare, shall we.
Rare: seldom occurring or found
Uncommon: not ordinarily encountered
So what this says is "unusual" means it's something that is not common, not heard of. Something you don't hear about. We have been executing people since 1608. That means we have records of execution for 403 years. The death penalty is not a new thing. Since it's not new, it cannot be uncommon.
I personally feel the argument of "cruel and unusual punishment" a moot point by definition. Now what is cruel is the fact the average time a prisoner will spend on death row is over a decade in solitary confinement. It is cruel that we don't just get it done in a timely fashion, not only for the inmate but Americans that pay taxes. On average it costs 50 thousand dollars per year per inmate to maintain them. There are currently 1,246 inmates on death row. That's $62,300,000 a year to maintain people that have been sentenced by their peers to die. Now remember that 10 year average....you can do the math I am sure. 34 of 50 states in our country allow a death penalty ruling.
Each of these people have gone to trial, evidence presented and convicted by a jury of their peers. Average Americans picked for jury duty. While I understand mistakes have been made and people are let out of prison after DNA had proved them innocent, these people have spent enough time there to prove their case in our technological age. Not to mention they will continue to have time to repeal because of how long they are forced to spend there waiting.
I do not under any circumstances rejoice, party, or feel happy when an inmates sentence is carried out. However I do believe many of the victims families are given closure to their great losses. And that's the way it should be. It will never bring back lost loved ones, but the criminal doesn't get the satisfaction of living when they took someone else.
Bin Laden was not tried, we as Americans were never shown actual evidence of his crime, only that "intelligence" was able to prove he was the mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks. He was killed in a fire fight during an operation to capture him. It was more than likely not an "execution" so much as it was our forces protecting themselves as they are trained to do. Police officers in our country practice the same actions when being shot at. Just as with the death penalty, no one should be celebrating, cheering or rejoicing in the death of another human. Instead they should stop and wonder if justice was actually carried out in this case. And if the accusations are in fact true, we can feel a small amount of closure and hope for the end of this war.
http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Week 3 Check In
Well we are just one week away from completing our 4 week challenge! Skip has really done well in this. We have decided based on what we have experienced so far, that we are going to continue to eat grain free. We are both feeling better and we have more energy.
Skip has lost another 2lbs this week, 1/4 of an inch and dropped his fasting glucose 14 points! It's been very helpful for him to see the numbers written down every week because he has solid proof he is getting somewhere. He is not complaining much about not being able to eat brad or drink soda anymore. We had the ultimate test when we went out to eat for the first time yesterday. He ordered a tea, soup and salad and left the crutons on the plate...willingly.
As for me, due to some personal matters, I will no longer be tracking how much weight I lost. I will however continue to track my fasting glucose. It was up 17 points this week. YIKES. The only thing I can think of is I ate a bit of white chocolate before bed last nite and was up early this morning testing so it may not have been a full 8 hours. I will try again tomorrow.
Aiden is thriving. We have seen an increased appetite as well as willingness to eat things he didn't like before. That alone makes me happy!
Skip has lost another 2lbs this week, 1/4 of an inch and dropped his fasting glucose 14 points! It's been very helpful for him to see the numbers written down every week because he has solid proof he is getting somewhere. He is not complaining much about not being able to eat brad or drink soda anymore. We had the ultimate test when we went out to eat for the first time yesterday. He ordered a tea, soup and salad and left the crutons on the plate...willingly.
As for me, due to some personal matters, I will no longer be tracking how much weight I lost. I will however continue to track my fasting glucose. It was up 17 points this week. YIKES. The only thing I can think of is I ate a bit of white chocolate before bed last nite and was up early this morning testing so it may not have been a full 8 hours. I will try again tomorrow.
Aiden is thriving. We have seen an increased appetite as well as willingness to eat things he didn't like before. That alone makes me happy!
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