Child Support, can it be double dipping?

Skip, Aiden and myself are a family. Aiden calls Skip dad and Skip refers to Aiden as his son.  Aiden is not Skip's biological son, but he has been an amazing man and has stepped in as such.  Skip has been in our lives since Aiden as 9 months old, but I have remained financially responsible for him until about 8 months ago when Skip took over full time financial support of the both of us.  During the time I was providing for Aiden I never once received a child support payment.  Aiden will be 5 this October.   That's a pretty good amount of time to go without extra support, but I  have never complained about it really.  It's been tight at times, but his actual father hasn't made contact or insisted on being one. Fine with me.  I haven't really had a reason to be all huffy puffy about not getting the $200 a month the court ordered.   I did file with the state over a year ago for support services, but in return the state helped pay for part of Aiden's daycare and his healthcare since my job has never offered health care.

This month I received my first child support payment from the state as they have an order to garnish wages.  It was nice to see and yes I feel like I am owed for the past 4 years that he should have been supporting his child. However at the same time I feel as if I am double dipping.   Aiden has a dad right here who takes care of his needs, even the financial ones.  Even though he was not born of this relationship it has not been something noticed. He is OUR child.  OUR values are being instilled in him.  WE are raising him,  Not this invisible man that  has had nothing to do with him since he was basically born.

At the beginning of the year we are going to embark on the adoption process to make Aiden legally Skip's son. That will automatically make his actual father no longer responsible for child support.  Does that bother me? Not a bit. I have never made the mistake of budgeting based on child support.   The fact of the matter is he is not Aiden's father and I do not see any reason to continue to make him pay for a kid that really isn't his.  I don't think children have parents based solely on blood type and DNA.  A child's parents are based on who raises and loves them.

So this big long story brings me to my actual point.  If a woman has a child being raised by the man she is married to, is it fair for her to continue milking the sperm doner for money?   Is that an ethical thing?  What if the parents have children together in their new marriage?  How is raising them without outside support any different with one or two extra from a previous relationship?  ESPECIALLY if the kids are being raised to understand the current man as their father.

I know of a woman who is married, has a son from a previous relationship.  Her son calls her husband father and he treats him as such.   They have a new baby on the way.   She won't let her husband adopt her son because she has managed to suck a $600 a month child support check from this guy who has not even seen a photo of this kid.  She prefers to keep the money over having her son share her last name.  All while having someone else take the responsibility of her kid.

I don't think its right.  I think it is double dipping and I think a lot of men are getting screwed out of money they shouldn't have to pay for instances like this.  I won't lie, the extra cash I am getting now is nice. But do I really need it? Absolutely not.  Does Aiden's sperm doner owe me child support?  Probably for the past, but as far as I am I concerned he owes me nothing as of now.  He isn't the father of my child. Skip is.  He would be the person in my eyes that owes us anything as he has taken the responsibility for us.

Ultimately I will happy when I can relieve a poor fool of child support for a kid that isn't even his.