Lysol Kills 99.9% of Bacteria and Viruses

I bet you are expecting to read some great and gross story about something nasty my kids did with a title like that! Sorry, not the case.  I've been really trying to stay away from politically charged subjects and I have been too tired to blog. I deleted Facebook from my phone this week because I need a break from the over stimulation. But the recent Hobby Lobby decision has been hitting me hard in many ways, mostly the lies being spread about what has actually happened.  I am not really going to talk about that in detail, but instead talk about killing germs and viruses VS killing babies.  Sorry, heavy topic, but it should be said.

Viruses are made up of DNA and RNA, they only survive within living cells and because they don't contain all the aspects of "life" science considers them "organisms on the edge of life." Lysol kills them. Bacteria on the other hand are considered life. They were among the first life forms to appear on earth. There are believed to be 10 times the amount if bacterial cells than actual cells that make up the human body.  Lysol kills bacteria too.

It is very important to point out what science says about these two things, viruses are just on the edge of being life and bacteria are life. They are very firm in this.  You couldn't tell a scientist that bacteria wasn't a life form, yet science can't see to agree that a gestating fetus(baby) is a life form. They are still arguing over when it should be considered life, inside or out. But bacteria, life all the way! Life that Lysol kills.

For those of you that haven't had children yet or chose not to I am going to do some explaining about prenatal appointments.  Every single time you go your doctor or midwife they check for life via heartbeat. They often use something called a Doppler, a handheld ultrasound like device.  Or in the case of midwifery a fetal-scope, a special type of stethoscope to hear the heartbeat of the baby. This is often the first thing they do. They will check to see if baby is growing and how your body is handling things.  In the event of an emergency situation things like induction and C-sections are put into play to save the LIFE of the baby and/or mother. When the heart of a baby is found to have stopped it is said to have passed. As in life that is no more.

Clinical death happens when a person's heart stops beating and circulation ceases.  Biological death happens about 6-7 minutes later when the lack of oxygen kills brain cells. Death meaning dead. No longer alive. I don't think bacteria dies of clinical and biological death as they don't have lungs, hearts or brains. But they care capable of dying anyways, Lysol is good for this.

I've discussed all of that because people cannot seem to understand when life begins. Women and politicians especially don't seem to understand what life is. They are running around toting the thoughts about women's rights and the right to abort unwanted pregnancies. Babies in the womb are not protected as they are not considered life unless you want them to be alive. In many states you can "abort" a baby well past the time in which doctors would try to save its life if you were to give birth prematurely.  In Colorado for example outpatient abortion can be done up to 26 weeks of pregnancy.  There is an 80% survival rate for babies born this early, but at long as they aren't born its ok to abort it. THIS is a beautiful page full of babies born at 26 weeks and their after pictures as healthy children later.

Killing is defined as an act of causing death deliberately.  When I clean my kitchen and bathrooms with Lysol I am killing the bacteria living in them.  When I wash my hands with antibacterial hand soap after handling raw chicken I am killing the bacteria from that.  When I wash my cloth diapers in water so hot it will melt my skin I am killing the bacteria. When the flowers I fail to water die in the heat of the summer it can be said I killed them. When my chickens are done laying eggs I will kill them for food. When my dog gets too sick to be happy and experiences too much pain to walk I will take him to a vet to end his life.

A human embryo has beating cells that become the heart by day 14 of gestation, about the same time pregnancy first becomes detectable. By the time a fetus is 5 weeks old(7 weeks gestation) the heart is formed and pumping and can be seen via ultrasound in most cases. It is pumping blood through its very tiny body. This is a biological fact that exists in a women who can't fathom being pregnant and in a women who has struggled with fertility treatments and is over the moon about it. It is the same in the woman laying on a laying on a table getting an abortion and the woman laying on a table getting an ultrasound.  So why in one woman is it treated as nothing and in another treated as a great miracle? It's biologically the same.

Abortion is the act of killing something deliberately.  It is not murder because the government hasn't determined it to be illegal. A whopping 91% of abortions are preformed in the first trimester.  A trimester believed to just be a clump of cells that don't resemble life. I can tell you that bacteria don't look a lick like human life, yet the Lysol bottle very clearly states it KILLS it.

I don't care where you stand on the debate, pro-choice or pro-life. It should be agreed that abortion is the deliberate killing of life. This garbage where science can't figure out if a human fetus is life or not is for the birds and the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. Its time for politicians to stop encouraging women to kill their unborn babies with words like "empowerment" , "choice" and "rights".  Abortion should not be a socially acceptable way to deal with unplanned pregnancies.  The answer to stopping them is not in making them illegal, after all murder, drugs and guns in schools are all illegal and that doesn't stop them from happening. What does stop every other American from committing crimes is morals.  Abortion needs to become morally unacceptable. It's not about anyone's bodily rights.  Its about death.

I will never be the friend that holds your hand during an abortion and tell you I understand. I will never tell you you made the right choice to kill a perfectly healthy baby for the sake of not knowing any better.

I will however hold your hand and help you find a solution that preserves life.

If you deny an embryo or fetus the title of life, you deny science. If you deny an embryo or fetus the title of life you also deny God for those of you that believe.  All of us fall into one or the other category and sometimes both.

Words on Walls

If someone gave you a Sharpie and told you to write something someone said to you on your wall and you knew they would see it, what would write? If you were told to write it as big as you could so it would be harder to cover, what would it be? The thing that you wrote, would it bring shame and embarrassment to the person who said it? Would they run to the hardware store to get paint and brushes and try to cover it up? Or would they smile at what you chose and invite others to see it?

Inside each of us is a wall. It's the wall where the words of others are written.  Everyday we read the words on our walls. Most everyday new ones are written there.  But inside of us there is no hardware store to buy paint to cover the words that we don't want to read.  They stay on ours walls, sometimes becoming covered by more words, but we never forget the words covered up.  We cannot erase them.

If you were given a Sharpie to write something on someone else's wall knowing they could see it and would have a difficult time removing it, what might you leave for them?  Words of happiness or love?  Words  that would make you feel good sharing? Words you would like to see stay there forever? Or would you choose words of malice and anger? Words that would hurt and words you hope no one else sees?

You see, just because the words you speak do not show up on the walls of your home, doesn't mean they aren't permanent. You don't have to have them scrawled across in black Sharpie to have them remembered. All you have to do is speak them. They will forever be etched on the walls of the person in which you direct them.

I think if we knew our words were being written down so people could always go back and read them, we would be much more careful in what we say. If people walked into our homes and could read the dialogue within, we would think twice about attacking others and talking poorly about those around us.  How much embarrassment or shame would you suffer if someone saw all your words?

When we speak, we should speak our words as though they are being scrawled across the walls for all to view.  We should speak in a way they we would not feel shame or guilt if we were forced to read it later. We should remember that every word we say will remain on the walls of someone and while after time those words will be written on top of, they still exist underneath. They never go away.  They might leave your mouth, but that doesn't make them gone.

Motherhood, The Most Thankless Job

At 12 AM she woke up.  It was expected, she always wakes 12 to eat and goes back to sleep until 4.  At 12 AM she woke up and didn't go back to sleep.  I watched the clock hit 1. She still would not sleep. 3 AM and we were still awake together. Both unhappy, both desperate for relief. At 5 AM time started to feel like it was standing still, both of us crying. By 7 she could no longer stand it and fell asleep fitfully. So I laid her down and closed the door.

My kitchen a disaster from the nite before. Not having the energy to clean it up makes for a crappy feeling the next morning when you really don't have the energy, but I did it. The other one will be up soon and I will need to have room to make breakfast. It's quiet for the first time in about 8 hours, so I take advantage and work on a project that is taking too long to finish, I don't have time usually to work on it. The kids keep me busy. Tears streaming down my face as I try to push down how tired I am and take joy in some peace and quiet. I don't get many moments like this.

Every day I live my life for 3 little people. I chase them around to pick up after them and stop near disasters. I kiss boo boos and sooth sad hearts. I change more diapers than I like to think about and wash more laundry than I believe I have. I prepare food that so often ends up all over the floor and vacuum it all up when its said and done. I spend endless hours picking up, holding, carrying and moving kids.

There is no 10 minute break or 30 minute lunch to reset. No quiet bathroom breaks or down time. The hours just blend into another and time doesn't exist until the end of day when its time to usher everyone off to bed and I hope I might sleep that nite. Time I hope I might have to connect with my husband as we have so very little to do so. Its the heavy thinking time that I take a look around and try to remember what I did all day. I wonder how the house got so torn apart. I look at the clock and think about how lovely it would be to just sit down and stop, but there is too much still to do and I cannot check out just yet.

At the end of a mother's day there is rarely a Thank-You. Being a mother just is.  You just do it day in and day out. There is no pay raise, no vacation. There are no quarterly reviews or awards handed out.  I am always left wondering if there is something I could have done better, done more of. Did I make the most of my time? So often I feel like there isn't much to show for it.

I sit here typing as two girls are actually sleeping at the same time.  I don't dare lay down myself because I know how terrible I will feel when I am forced to wake up. There are toys and Cheerios from the front door to the kitchen. There are coats and clothes all over the couch and dishes in the sink. Laundry in the dryer, diapers in the wash.  I don't know where to start. I think about the bag of crochet projects I have started, but cannot find the time to finish. The books I want to read that I simply cannot get to. I cannot help but think of the special ingredients in my pantry that go unused for recipes I wanted to make, but settle for less at the end of the day because I cannot do anymore.

When my day is through no one will thank me for a job well done.  No one will congratulate me on the efforts I put forth raising my kids. No one will recognize the sacrifice it is to be a parent.  I will just continue on with  the millions of other mothers who find themselves struggling to just get to the end of day only to start a new day in just a few hours. I will remind myself of the amazing people I am raising and that this is not all for nothing. I will tell myself and hear my husband remind they won't always be this small while I rock the baby back to sleep for the 4th or 5th time. I will be reminded that someday I will miss these days. I will hold onto the hope that I am doing a good enough job now that someday they will thank me for choosing to stay and be with them while they were young. Thank me for being their mom.

Today my job is thankless, but maybe tomorrow it won't be.

What is Leadership and What is Discipline?

Leadership VS Discipline, are they the same, can they work together, and what exactly do they mean? It's a hot topic in my house lately and frankly probably any household with kids old enough to tell you where they think the bear craps in the woods. Parenting is full of huge grey areas, Hell who am I kidding the damn mess is a grey area!! There is no real black and white manual and over the years it has morphed and changed. As we become more modern with less time and more disconnected from family, its easy to see why we have short cuts and short comings with parenting. What we do today is probably not even a shadow of how things used to be when people didn't have all the modern distraction of today. Families aren't flowing together, instead we are all working against each other and our inner nature to try to make things fit the way we are having it sold to us.  This is were understanding the real definitions of leadership and discipline come into play.

I am going to use the Army standard of leadership(for you my sweet).  The Army defines leadership as:

 “the process of influencing people by providing purpose, direction, and motivation while operating to accomplish the mission and improve the organization.”

 Lets change "people" to spouse/kids and change organization to Family.  So now we are influencing our kids and spouses to improve the family.  That makes a lot of sense.  We don't want outside forces having a stronger influence on it, so we need to make sure we are the ones providing it.  Lets start breaking this down.

Influence is the power to change or effect someone or something: the power to cause changes without directly forcing them to happen.

That's powerful.  Being able to change someone without force.  Basically being such a strong presence that they would want to make the changes and do as you guide them or on the flip side be so turned off they are influenced into the opposite direction.

Purpose is the reason why something is done or used, its the feeling of being determined to do or achieve something.

Influence with purpose, that means having a plan or goal you are trying to get to without force.

Direction is the path or course in which something is moving.

Ok now we are guiding the way down a path toward a goal without forcing people into it.

Motivation is the act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something.

I think with that we can define family leadership as guiding our kids/spouses down a planned path toward an end result while showing them why its such a good idea.  Sounds like a lot of work, but that's what a leader does, works for a common end goal. With a family we are working towards guiding our kids into functioning adults, helping our spouses work out problems and even moving the whole household into a cohesive unit. None of that can be done without a good positive influence.  Everyone is going to run opposite directions otherwise.  You can't force people to like your ideas, you have to show them why your ideas are so good to begin with and you have to be the model of your anticipated end result; IE functioning adult.

I think leadership is probably a GREAT family value to have, providing it's done correctly and people are benefiting and goals are being met.

Now I am going to move onto discipline.  We all say it, do it and suggest it, but what is discipline exactly and how does it play a role in family life?

I believe in most situations when we think of discipline we think of it in the following context:

gaining control by requiring that rules be obeyed and punishing bad behavior.

I think that's a fair representation when we think of disciplining our children. We do something to our kids to make them pay for their infractions and we call it discipline and we call it just.

Lets take a look at the meaning of punish.

To punish is to make someone suffer for a crime or bad behavior.

Yes, your kid breaks the rules you do something to them, spank maybe? Ground them? Take away time from the TV or their game station in an effort to make them suffer for doing bad. This is after all how the American justice system works and they got at all right, right? 

To suffer is to experience pain, something unpleasant or to become worse because of being badly effected by something.

Ouch, that looks nasty. Pain, unpleasantness and being adversely effected.  

Pain is the physical feeling caused by something that hurts the body, its mental or emotional suffering or something that causes or makes trouble for you. 

It's not getting better.  So discipline is the act of causing physical pain or mental suffering for rule breaking. When our children are born has it ever crossed our minds ONCE to purposefully cause them harm?  Have we ever thought that harm would make them great people? Are we great parents when we cause harm to others? 

That's the definition of discipline as we know it to cause change in behavior at the time.  There is another for discipline. 

A way of behaving that shows a willingness to obey rules or orders

That's called self discipline. A behavior you show.  I know being a leader takes self discipline. Always doing the right thing in efforts to influence others to follow in your steps. 

Leadership and discipline have VERY obvious different meanings and quite clearly cannot coexist. Taking the leadership role in your family means showing them what you believe and why its so important, it means giving your family a path and helping them navigate it. Being a disciplinarian means reacting to what you haven't approved and causing harm to get your way and leaving no lesson learned ad learning is not part of discipline.  A good leader doesn't harm his people.

Being a self disciplined leader is clearly optimal, it means standing up to yourself in the face of defeat, failure, and disappointment, being ok with it and driving on with changes in the game plan to get back on path. Its time we all really sat and looked at ourselves and decide what we are lacking and how we can fix it and be better families and be proud of the hard work we put into raising the next generation.  

New Year 2014

Happy New Year!  I am a few days late, but I have good reason.  I hope everyone has set "resolutions" they can stick by and be proud of at the end of this year which will no doubt go as fast as 2013. We typically do not set any resolutions, as goals can be set and met at any time during the year. This year though is a little different.  We did decide on some pretty significant things we needed to get serious about and decided to just go ahead and use January 1 as a start date. Skip's retirement is 2 1/2 years away and will be here before we know or are ready for it. We basically have 3 areas of focus: finances, clutter and health.

With retirement in just 2 1/2 years away decided to get serious about living on a reduced budget and be prepared for less frivolous spending.  We have a few bills to pay off. That will be easy to get done.  We decided we needed to be in a habit of less spending simply because we have a house in Virginia that Skip purchased as a fixer upper. He lived in it for less than a year before being stationed in Korea and then being sent to Colorado.  By the time we actually move into it he will have owned it for 10 years without having really fixed up anything.  We have a lot of work ahead and its going to cost a lot of money. So we have just decided to set forth a serious plan of action to prepare for that.  Maybe should have thought about it a while ago, but better late than never and we really did try to sell it.

This is what we are adjusting for. I love it. 

Currently we live in a 3 story, 2400 square foot home.  Unreal.  Given when we met we could fit all we owned in a 500 square foot apartment! Then we moved into a 980 sq ft home and had lots of room.  From there we moved onto Kansas to 1400 sq ft and had a TON of room.  I have no idea how we end ed up here with all this crap, but it has to go.  So we are going to be doing some serious downsizing of stuff.  The house in Virginia is only 1400 sq ft.  All this junk isn't going to fit.  I am most excited about this part of things.  There is so much  here that we just aren't using and really doesn't need to be wasting all this space.

And last, but definitely not least is health.  We do try to be as healthy as possible, but a lot of things have been put on the back burner and we need to make more effort bringing forth healthy habits. Things like gluten, sugar and overindulgence have made their ways back into our lives and it's not working out for us. We have some more family plans, hiking and a big camping trip planned and we really need to get in gear. I have serious personal goals that  I simply must meet as putting them off or being fine with not doing them can no longer be an option.  I will keep this subject updated on as I make progress.  I am 7 days into making a habit of doing better.  So I think I am on top of it this time.  Time is going to pass whether I do something about it or not, so I better just get it done.

It's all very exciting for us this year.  I am very much looking forward to progress.  I hope whatever goals you have set yourself to treat you well and you have the encouragement and drive to achieve them! Here's to 2014.

Thoughts on 30

My 30th birthday is in 12 days! (also you have 11 days to finish your Christmas shopping, better get crackin') I will not be 29 again.  I will not be 29+1 nor will it be a depressing day to skip. I will be 30 and I seriously couldn't be happier about it. Yea, I am crazy I know, but its a good day for me.  After turning 21 I realized being "so young" just wasn't all it was cracked up to be. No one took me seriously, I was lacking life experience I so desperately wanted(and probably needed) and honestly I hated hearing people with so much more wisdom than I saying they "missed being so young". I didn't get it. I would not relive my 20s.

So many people heard me say,"I can't wait to be 30." I've said it over and over again.  I cannot wait! I was asked a few weeks ago how I felt about it and I've really put some thought into it. I have never been more at ease with my peers. I feel like the closer I have gotten to 30 the more I am fitting in with people my age.  I don't know what it is, but everyone seems calmer, more grounded and easier to get along with. I did not experience that from my young 20 something peers. I've disliked meeting people in that age group. I don't understand them and feel awkward, that's never changed. I feel more at ease with myself.  I am not concerned with body image at all. I am pretty damn happy in my skin.  I don't feel like I have to put on a show or look a certain way.  Judge away judgers! At the end of the day I have a great family to come home to and they don't care.  I am finally feeling like an adult.  I feel like people don't blow off the things I have to say because I am too young to know.

I've got 3 great kids right now.  It's not always easy, but I am really in love with being a mom. I wish I would  have had 3 in my early 20s.  Maybe I would have found my way sooner, but kids come with age, another reason to love 30 so much! They have grounded me big time and I really don't feel so high strung and freaked out. My husband probably helps that too I am sure.  Marriage is also another reason to love 30.  Its maturing and we are entering new places and finding new ideas together. It's fabulous.  And I like not hearing,"You're too young to be married"  Nope, don't hear that anymore!

30 is not old. Its nothing to be ashamed of.  I will never be 29 again, don't want to or need to be. I will proudly be a 30 year old women.  I've got 10 years till 40, and I'll be back writing about the awesomeness that I know will come with it. Until then, my ladies turning 30 with me, love it!! Embrace it and know you are awesome too!

Motherhood Is...

GLAMOROUS!

Ok, maybe not the first word that comes to anybody's mind when you ask them what motherhood is in one word. What's not amazing about not brushing your hair for 3 days, pulling it back and hoping no one has noticed? Or hoping maybe they don't see it hasn't been washed for who knows how long. What's not more appealing than a shirt worn more times than you can remember because grabbing it up off the floor in a mad dash to a screaming kid is the only option? Then forgetting to change it later. 

Then there's the snot, the spit, the food, the baby vomit and stuff you don't really know about that often migrates to your outfit.  How long has that been there?!  Oh well, you'll change it later. Or how about when you leave the house and think,"Oh carrying the baby will cover that up."  

That shirt is a real life story! It's my shirt as a matter of fact.  I spent all of last week battling boogers and grumpies.  Also the regular eruptions of Phoebe's immature digestive system.  Then there on the sleeve, that shiny dark stuff? That's blood.  Not even all of it.  Fiona decided some dishwasher diving off the top of a couple rolling pins would be fun...don't worry she's ok. 

I had no idea I looked like this until my husband looked and asked what had happened to me.  I laughed and said,"Life with kids."  So I took a picture and decided to share the glamour of motherhood.  The extra accessories your kids will leave you with at the end of day.  It's awesome.  

Maybe, glamorous isn't quite the right word, but it makes it easier to laugh at the end of day!