Having Little Fantasies...

Parenting, it's no 9-5 job.  More like an unrelenting 24/7/365(or 366 on a leap year) kinda job. There are no set coffee breaks, uninterrupted bathroom rests or totally spontaneous days. Life takes some planning most of the time, even if its just how you are going to shuffle the heard to the car without losing someone to a slight attention loss because they saw something shiny(or you saw something shiny, but I digress..). When you have small kids there are no clean shirts, there is clean enough to be seen in public without question shirts. Chipped nail polish, overdo pedicures and a lot of bad hair days.  There are dark circles under your eyes and sometimes the will to live stays in bed while you get up and force yourself to keep going.  Often you answer 50 questions before 9am, the same 50 you answered yesterday and dare I say the day before that as well.  Hell who am I kidding, you answered them all last week too!! 

That's just a fraction of a fraction of a the day of a parent. There are mornings(like today) that you wake up at 530 to a little staring you in the face and smiling their horribly adorable smile and you think,"Damn you are cute, but I just want to close my eyes and pretend you don't exist for a few moments." You think about waking up when you chose and just doing nothing.  Or on a rainy day staying in bed to read without any noise or anyone to take care of.  Or think about what it would be like to decide to go somewhere and get to the car in 30 seconds instead of having to plan for at least 30 minutes and then another 15 to get to the car where you then realize nap time is in 10 and you are so screwed.(All while praying nothing shiny pops up) I have mornings that I dream of no responsibility. I dream of quiet. Time for myself to pursue my interests and mine only for a period of uninterrupted time. I could go on and on and on in my little fantasy, but as I type I am being asked many questions and I realize it's just not going to happen. 

But it really is all just a fun fantasy to get you thru tough times.  Honestly, what would I do without my kids?  I would miss the beginning of those adorable toothless grins at 530 when I am all bleary eyed. I would end up missing the noise because it reminds me I am not alone and it's an even bigger reminder that someone loves me enough to give me the joy of these wonderful little creatures that deprive you of life's basic needs.  I would miss out on a lot of laughs and a lot of tears. I would really be missing out on huge amounts of love, received and given. I would would miss opportunities to be a better person.  

SO ya, I want a morning to myself, but its not going to happen for a while.  That's ok.  It will be sweeter when it comes.