Thursday, October 15, 2009

Today was rough

I had the day off, I don't like that. I want to be working 5 days a week and that's just not happening right now. I do have 7 dogs tomorrow, hopefully none of them cancel.

I applied for state aid today as well. I'm hoping they can at least help me with daycare, it would be a huge relief, because at this point I am already 2 weeks behind schedule and it's making me breakdown. They already called me back today to make an appointment, so that's a little bit promising.

I think the worst part of today was the bank issue. I currently bank with US Bank and the closet branch is in Topeka, 60 miles from here. It would be like driving to Denver from the Springs. Well there are 3 banks here in Town, Central National, Kansas State and 1st Community. Apparently there is a system called Chex that banks use now to see what your banking history is. It's really more of a black list that tells banks to not do business with you. Well guess what!!! Due to my bankruptcy, ENT, my former bank closed my account and closed with a balance from the car loan I had that Thomas wasn't paying on. So I am on this list and I can't open an account for 5 years. Needless to say I had to drive to Topeka today to do my banking. I have to go there once a month now because I have things that come out of that account auto and things I have to pay on-line. Imagine having to drive to Denver every time you needed to make a deposit.

So ya that's Kansas for me right now. I am feeling like things are hopeless for me. I left a good job with benefits. I had daycare and I had a personal support system. I feel like I have nothing now. I'm as lost as a fry in an ocean during a hurricane. Go Figure.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Truckin along

Well been here almost 12 days now and things are going well. I go back to work tomorrow after having 16 days off. Its been a nice little vacation. Skip and I have had a wonderful time. He goes back on Tuesday. I'm going to be dead tired because not only have I not worked more than 20 hours a week for like 2 months now, but I've been sitting in a chair working for over a year! YIKES!! Full time grooming, yea I'm gonna feel like I just got out of school.


The house is mostly unpacked, I have to get Aiden's room done this week because next weekend we have to tackle the garage. It's a total mess in there and we would like to actually use this garage. The office is still kinda messy, we are still using the dining room as the internet cafe. I have a funny feeling we will continue this for a long while after the office is clean. Yoshi likes to hang out here in the kitchen with us. The house is so big we just don't know what to do with it.

I call home every nite to talk to Aiden who mostly just says "HI MOMMY!" and "BYE MOMMY!" He's really not one for the phone. I guess that's a good thing. Christa continues to spoil him. I did end up telling mom that he was staying there, Skip really made me feel bad for lying and I just didn't have a choice. Mom has yet to say one nice thing about anything, but that's to be expected. Most days she just ends the conversation with, "well fine I will talk to you later". She doesn't like when I tell her "oh well" or" I think you are taking that a bit far" For some reason I find myself holding back much less when I have to talk to her now. I guess it's just old now.

This week I also find daycare for Aiden. Thomas and I have our final court date on the 6th of November, so weather permitting that's when I will be getting Aiden. I've had both grandma's already make their own plans to bring Aiden out WITHOUT my consent or suggestion. I don't mind so much if Christa does it, but mom has her own selfish motives and I don't care to indulge them for her.

And lastly some Yoshi stuff. Poor dog still doesn't have normal digestive functions. Gas a diarrhea continue to be a normal for him. 6-8 cups of food a day and at least that much in the back yard. This week we have done a lot of research and decided we are going to switch from commercial food to a raw diet. It's going to be more cost effective and better for his health. I think the cat will be switching too. I'll keep an update on how that goes.

Well off to play farmville.....how sad!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Welcome to Kansas!!

Well we are here, minus Aiden. Our house is HUGE. Over 1,400 square feet. I feel like I have to walk a mile to get anywhere in this place. The kitchen is the only room that is 100% unpacked and that still took us 3 days. We hate to unpack, but hopefully this time around we will be here a while and unpacking can take as long as it needs.

We have met 2 neighbors. These are people that took time out of their day to actually come over and introduce themselves. We couldn't even get the people in Fountain to wave. The couple across the street are elderly and they baked bread and brought fresh jelly for us and the people next door consist of a 1st SGT, his wife and their 6 month old baby. And everybody here waves at you when they see you on the street. It's a big difference from big city living.

Ogen's main street, Riley BLVD, is about 1/4 mile long. If you had a good arm you could probably throw a stone from one end to the other. There's 2 gas stations and no street lights. The ton used to be known for the bars and hookers some 10-15 years ago. LOL. I know, perfect! Anyways its been here since the early 1800's and there is a cemetery on the hill behind us that has graves from the 1800's. It's amazing. We made a detour there while walking Yoshi. It's very quiet and there aren't any city lites to ruin the view of the sky.

Manhattan is 6 miles up the road and has pretty much everything. The shopping mall is pretty small. 1 level, but clean and not full of obnoxious teens or wanna be gang bangers. I had to laugh because there is a sign that tells you fire arms are prohibited in the mall. I could carry mine in the Springs.

The post here is BEAUTIFUL! Ft Carson has no right to boast about being the best Army Home town, they look like a dump compared to Riley. Ft. Riley was founded during the Civil war and has an amazing amount of history. A lot of the buildings are original stone. Tons of open space, giant trees and green fields. Even the traffic isn't crazy. They even have a fab dog park, Yoshi had a blast out there today.

SO over all this place isn't bad. The people are nicer and the pace is slower. It's a welcome vacation from the craziness of the Springs. I'll get a photo blog put together here in a couple days, I'm still compiling them.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Numbers for FarmVille

Yaya I know this is sad but I got bored. I broke everything down to see what I could profit from the best. Keep in mind I'm only Level 16, but once you read this you can do it for the things I cant see yet!!

Crops that take 1-4 days to mature.

EGGPLANT

88 coins harvest price
25 purchase seed
15 to plow land

48 profit done over 2 days TOTAL 24 coins per day

WHEAT

115 coins harvest price
35 purchase price
15 t0 plow land

65 profit done over 3 days TOTAL 21 coins per day


SOYBEANS

63 coins harvest price
15 purchase price
15 to plow land

33 profit done over 1 day TOTAL 33 coins per day


SQUASH

121 coins harvest price
40 purchase price
15 to plow land

66 profit done over 2 days TOTAL 33 coins per day


ARTICHOKES


204 coins harvest price
70 purchase price
15 to plow land

119 profit done over 4 days TOTAL 29.75 coins per day


COTTON


207 coins harvest price
75 purchase price
15 to plow land

117 profit done over 3 days TOTAL 39 coins per day

BELL PEPPERS

198 coins harvest price
75 purchase price
15 to plow land

108 profit done over 2 days TOTAL 54 coins per day

PEPPERS

162 coins harvest price
70 purchase price
15 to plow land

77 profit done over 1 day TOTAL 77 coins per day

PINEAPPLE

242 coins harvest price
95 purchase price
15 to plow land

132 profit over 2 days TOTAL 66 coins per day


Ok so this next list is produce that is harvested in hours not days. I have broken it down and given the MAX you can make on these items if you play 24 hours a day!! LOL

STRAWBERRIES

35 harvest price
10 to buy
15 to plow land

Profit of 10 coins over 4 hours 24 hour profit potential-60 coins

PUMPKIN

68 harvest price
30 to buy
15 to plow land

Profit of 23 coins over 8 hours 24 hour profit potential-69 coins

RICE

96 harvest price
45 to buy
15 to plow land

Profit of 36 coins over 12 hours 24 hour profit potential- 72 coins

RASPBERRIES

46 harvest price
20 to buy
15 to plow land

Profit of 11 coins over 2 hours 24 hour profit potential-132 coins (who wudda thunk it)

ALOE VERA

85 harvest price
50 to buy
15 to plow land

Profit of 20 coins over 4 hours 24 hour profit potential-80 coins

Saturday, September 19, 2009

I read this just now.

Lab's name was Reggie as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly. I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street. But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn't look like "Lab people," whatever that meant. They must've thought I did. But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner. See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too. Maybe we were too much alike. For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls - he wouldn't go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes. I guess I didn't really think he'd need all his old stuff, that I'd get him new things once he settled in. But it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn't going to. I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like "sit" and "stay" and "come" and "heel," and he'd follow them - when he felt like it. He never really seemed to listen when I called his name - sure, he'd look in my direction after the fourth of fifth time I said it, but then he'd just go back to doing whatever. When I'd ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey. This just wasn't going to work. He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes. I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell. The friction got so bad that I couldn't wait for the two weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search mode for my cellphone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the "damn dog probably hid it on me." Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the shelter's number, I also found his pad and other toys from the shelter. I tossed the pad in Reggie's direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most enthusiasm I'd seen since bringing him home. But then I called, "Hey, Reggie, you like that? Come here and I'll give you a treat." Instead, he sort of glanced in my direction - maybe "glared" is more accurate - and then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down... with his back to me. Well, that's not going to do it either, I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number. But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that, too. "Okay, Reggie," I said out loud, "Let's see if your previous owner has any advice.".... To Whoever Gets My Dog: Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie's new owner.. I'm not even happy writing it. If you're reading this, it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab after dropping him off at the shelter. He knew something was different. I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip, but this time... it's like he knew something was wrong. And something is wrong... which is why I have to go to try to make it right. So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you. First, he loves tennis balls, the more the merrier. Sometimes I think he's part squirrel, the way he hordes them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn't done it yet. Doesn't matter where you throw them, he'll bound after it, so be careful - really don't do it by any roads. I made that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly. Next, commands. Maybe the shelter staff already told you, but I'll go over them again: Reggie knows the obvious ones - "sit," "stay," "come," "heel." He knows hand signals: "back" to turn around and go back when you put your hand straight up; and "over" if you put your hand out right or left. "Shake" for shaking water off, and "paw" for a high-five. He does "down" when he feels like lying down - I bet you could work on that with him some more. He knows "ball" and "food" and "bone" and "treat" like nobody's business. I trained Reggie with small food treats. Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog. Feeding schedule: twice a day, once about seven in the morning, and again at six in the evening. Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand. He's up on his shots. Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with yours; they'll make sure to send you reminders for when he's due. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car - I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows. Finally, give him some time. I've never been married, so it's only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He's gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn't bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially. Which means that this transition is going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new. And that's why I need to share one more bit of info with you… His name's not Reggie. I don't know what made me do it, but when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them his name was Reggie. He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. But I just couldn't bear to give them his real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting that I'd never see him again. And if I end up coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it means everything's fine. But if someone else is reading it, well... well it means that his new owner should know his real name. It'll help you bond with him. Who knows, maybe you'll even notice a change in his demeanor if he's been giving you problems. His real name is Tank. Because that is what I drive. Again, if you're reading this and you're from the area, maybe my name has been on the news. I told the shelter that they couldn't make "Reggie" available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. See, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've left Tank with... and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call the shelter... in the "event"... to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he'd do it personally. And if you're reading this, then he made good on his word. Well, this letter is getting to downright depressing, even though, frankly, I'm just writing it for my dog. I couldn't imagine if I was writing it for a wife and kids and family. But still, Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family. And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved me. That unconditional love from a dog is what I took with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do something selfless, to protect innocent people from those who would do terrible things... and to keep those terrible people from coming over here. If I had to give up Tank in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He was my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades. All right, that's enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. I don't think I'll say another good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first time. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth. Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me. Thank you, Paul Mallory I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer. I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog. "Hey, Tank," I said quietly. The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright. "C'mere boy." He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months. "Tank," I whispered. His tail swished. I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my face into his scruff and hugged him. "It's me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me." Tank reached up and licked my cheek. "So whatdaya say we play some ball? His ears perked again. "Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?" Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room. And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth. Good Dog Rescue

Making your own happiness

This recent and somewhat unexpected event with my mother has got me thinking some today. I've, for one, made the decision that she will no longer get unsupervised time with Aiden and she will also be unaware that he will remain in Colorado for a few weeks while I get settled in Kansas. Christa and Thomas are aware of the situation and have agreed to help me with it. I never thought I would see the day I trusted Thomas more than my mom, I think Hell must be getting cold or something.

I'm tired of being the peace keeper. I am tired of sacrificing to keep everyone else happy. Yes it may be noble and strong of me, but it's also total BS that I have been so stupid to think I have been benefiting myself. I have instead been training people to take advantage of me. I have these people not giving me any respect and not taking in account my needs. I have no idea why either. I'm not opposed to confrontation, I will willing fight back and have my point known, respected and thoroughly understood. Yet I bend over backwards to avoid listening to my family give me shit.

I do everything in their time frame, they never do it in mine. I have willingly let them make all my decisions about time with Aiden and he has ultimately been the one that hurts. What the hell is wrong with me!?

Lesson learned, it will be my choice 100% of the time now. Get mad at me. I don't give a damn.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Post 100

This blog if focally my 100th blog here on blog spot and my 200th blog total I have written since starting on myspace in 2007. I so wish the words I was writing next would make you want to jump up and down and cheer. But I am sorry to say it is not. It's the final nail in the coffin. I'm happy for friends that I can actually trust. I will say that much.


For some time know I have been fighting the wrong enemy. I have been blinded and deceived beyond imaginable reason. I have been forced to stab back with my own knife now. My knife is sharper and will stab deeper. I have no choice in this. I wanted to live my life in peace. I wanted simple. Actually as Skip calls it I wanted "Simple Stupid". I dontthink its too much to ask.

I filed all my things for our divorce in July. Something that needed to be done 3 year sago, but it's better it took longer and I do not regret the decision to wait. We needed it. Even tho there have been many trials and tests along the way. I happy with it.

Thomas and I had a WONDERFUL meeting today. We agreed on everything and we even talked. I'm happy for him. He's doing great in school and he actually has something to work for. That's a big step for him. Things should be final some time in November I believe. That's about where the good stops.

I had dinner with Christa and Bob tonite. They cooked a fantastic brisket. While I was in the kitchen talking to Christa she turned and looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me she had to tell me something because it was eating her up inside and she couldn't take it anymore.

The day I found out about Kansas my mother called Christa in tears and said she needed to talk to her right away. My mom drove all the way to Fountain and in front of Christa, Bob and Thomas told them the most disturbing lies about me and about Skip. She told all three of them Skip was a drunk, he was abusive and was mean to Aiden. She told them I was a terrible mom and wasn't capable of caring for my own son. She told them I was leaving and something had to be done to stop it. She told them Skip was just stringing me along and I was falling for something that would never work out, that he just wanted to get me out of here. My own mother told these people she has to get Aiden every weekend because I call freaking out. She said she lost count of all the times she had to come to my house because the situation was so bad. She told them Skip was using me for sex.

I cannot say I doubt a single word. Christa has a great memory and was able to repeat to me things that only my mom would say in the context my mom would say them. And Christa doesn't know my mom well enough to say them in those ways without knowing. This was the reason Thomas was such a butt about the whole situation weeks ago.

I am prepared for battle. I will not fight it in an open manner. It will have to be a fight thru simple actions, planted ideas and total brainwashing. Until I can safely get myself and Aiden from this place I will not be able to lay an open attack. But trust me, it's coming.

I know what side I am on know. I feel betrayed.