I suppose my perfection can be a fault

For a long period of my life I had no will, no motivation.  It was simply because I didn't want to. I had no reason or care.  It didn't matter who I had in my corner.  I wasn't ready to give life all I had nor was I ready to receive what life had to offer me.  It was a number of years before I grew out of this and became a functional member of society.  I don't really know what it was that triggered it. I think I just got sick of waiting on something to happen, not realizing that only I could make anything happen.

Now that I am pretty happy and making things happen for myself, I don't put up with shit. I can't stand people who feel sorry for themselves and wait around for other people to make things happen for them.  You need to give 100% to expect any kind of return. You put anything less than that into life you aren't going to get anything worthwhile.  Period. End of discussion.  Go back to start and don't collect $200.

I generally don't fell sorry for people unless they have experienced a loss or a real tragedy in their lives.  But at some point you have to pick yourself up and move on.  You can't dwell or let life stop.  My mom calls me a hard ass for being like this, but I can't see any point in being purposefully miserable over an even you can't change.  At some point it must be embraced and you have to make the best of it. I have been at fault for bitching and whining about things I cannot change, but I have embraced all those and made the best of what I had to deal with.  Kansas was one of those things for me, but here I am, loving it and making do.

I have opened my home to a family member that's not mine because I felt she deserved a chance and she wanted it, or so she said.  It is quite clear she does not want to work for herself or make life good for her.  She wants to just let life go by and do her best to dodge situations that may arise.  I don't feel bad because her dad killed himself.  It was selfish and he left his family with nothing.  He did nothing but leech of everybody else's resources.  She acted excited to come here and make life better.

I have had to tell her on multiple occasions to not take 20-30 minute showers because it's not considerate to the household and I have to fit the bill.

I have coached her multiple times on how to fill out an application so she gets the job as well as coached on how to answer questions on an interview.  Well she won't take my advise and she botched her first interview today.  I have gotten every job I interviewed for.

We've talked to her about getting out of bed and leaving her room.  She still won't come out unless she smells food.  I think she is being very rude and ungrateful for what we have offered.

SO I am now at a point that I no longer care to want to help her.  She gave up an opportunity and is showing no signs of even trying to get it back.  I don't feel sorry for her and I don't think she will every get anything out of life with her attitude.  I will no longer try.