Funny Mom Harassment

So after our big blow up in June things have certainly been easier with my mom.  I no longer care if I hurt her feelings when she oversteps her bounds and I don't really mind telling her where the bear shits in the woods, so to speak.

So a couple of weeks ago we had a nice long conversation about how I feel about feminists and where she fits into their evil plans quite nicely.  Mom has always pushed me to believe I am better than any man and that I never needed one to survive.  While I commend her to a point in teaching me to be independent, it also landed me in a relationship where I thought it was OK to be the man. You all know the rest of that story.  I took some time to share my thoughts on her beliefs about not needing her husband, her climbing the corporate latter at Walmart and few other odds and ends.  Her bewilderment amused me to great lengths and continues to do so.

So a couple of funny exchanges:

  She calls me one nite and we are chatting and she tells me she has to let me go so she can go do her "wifely duties" and iron her husbands shirts. To which I promptly reply, "Well you might as well give him a blow job while you are at it if you are gonna be 'wifely' and all".   She proceeded to tell me I was sick and disgusting all while I was laughing too hard to breathe.  But hey that IS a wifely duty after all.......

Yesterday we had a talk about her job.  She was complaining that she had to park in the back of the lot and has to walk out at nite.  She said she should have the right to park closer because she is a woman.  I told her that as long as she was playing the role of a man she could park in the back with the rest of the men.  You can't just pick and choose when you want to act like a woman.  Either you are or you aren't.  I got a nice, "SCREW YOU CHRISTINE."   Once again I am amused.


She hates my views on sex.  She doesn't believe the activity should exist and I think every free moment you have you should have in bed.  I love reminding her of that.  It makes me laugh so hard.  She's a good sport and plays along at least.