Another Loss

I used to be one of those girls that thought no matter the situation, abortion was OK. It's a woman's body and its her choice to do what she wanted with it.  A baby wasn't a baby until it was born. Period.   I would argue someone about it and think them narrow minded and selfish for thinking otherwise.  Anti-abortion activists made me angry and I wanted every sticker Planned Parenthood had to offer to put on my car.

Then I had Aiden.  In the beginning I fought with wanting an abortion because of the situation I was in, but I was lucky enough to have a friend talk me off the edge.  By the end of that pregnancy I regarded new life in a new way.   I wasn't as gung ho about thinking everyone had the right to an abortion, but the notion was still there.

Last Mother's Day I lost a very unexpected, but very wanted and loved pregnancy.  It was at that point I realized that I could no longer comprehend why anyone would willingly kill life they had growing inside of them.  The loss was earth shattering and I knew at that point, no matter what my situation, I would NEVER ever consider killing life I created.  I would never look at a person the same who would knowingly abort a perfectly healthy pregnancy.

It's Mother's Day again, and I again sit here this morning losing a second very much loved and wanted baby.  It's something I have no say in.  All I can do is let it pass.  While I go through this with sorrow and anger, there will be countless other mothers killing their own for selfish reasons. Babies that could be born healthy and that could be loved the way I have already loved what I have lost.