Dealing with Aiden

My boy is a handful.  He has done everything from peeing on the floor in his room on multiple occasions to the more recent getting a hold of a sharp knife and stabbing holes in his walls at nap time.  He is extremely hyper active, not even being able to sit in a chair to eat without the need to always half stand.  His sleep pattern is horrible which typically leads to a lot of bad days. Daily meltdowns over the smallest things are a regular part of life here. Staying on one task for more than 2-4 minutes takes a serious miracle.

Discipline means nothing to Aiden. Tim out, spanking, taking toys and privileges away.  Forget it.  They don't phase him. He's received a few spankings and I have never seen a kid go right back to doing the bad thing after that.  We decided not to do it again since no effect was made.  He stands in time out with not a care in the world. He doesn't care for toys, so if we take those he doesn't even notice.  We don't have TV or video games, so we don't have that to take away and he's hardly on the computer.

I have so many days that I just feel like I am about to break.  He is the most trying child I have ever been near!  And I have been baby sitting since I was 12.  So we went to the doctor and got  referred to see the mental health center to have him evaluated.  I made the appointment and started researching ADHD and natural alternatives and behavior exercises.  I came across a lot of good ideas and tactics and I also came across some scary things as well.  Like parents who have had their kids removed from their care for not wanting to medicate with a class 2 narcotic.  I had already made my mind up that I wont allow him to be drugged, but the more I searched the more and more I saw this was the way doctors prefer to treat kids.

I cancelled my appointment.  I was already fearful to have Aiden possibly diagnosed with a learning issue like ADHD, but I am even more fearful to have that documented and risk the possibility of it coming back and biting me in ass later. We will already be at risk of government supervision because we are choosing to home school.  The last thing I need to add to that is an unmediated child who is thought to need it by doctor.

Do I sound paranoid, maybe. Is the risk real enough that my fears could come true? Absolutely.  Never underestimate state officials nor the people around you.

So what are we going to do?  I clearly don't want to live day in and day out with a pain in ass kid.  I have found some fantastic herbal allies to start working with.  The first being Lemon Balm.  It is very known for calming the nerves of "hysteric" people, but also know to calm children who just can't stop going.  The second being Catnip(yes I just said that).  A seriously calming plant that induces sleep. And sleep seems to be half of Aiden's issue.  We are also starting a new behavior chart. He earns 10 stars and gets a prize. For now that prize is M&Ms.   He earns a star for every good deed and loses one for every bad thing.  We are starting VERY easy on this. He can earn a star for simply brushing his teeth politely! This way he has a better chance of understanding what is good and bad.  It is a self punishing system where he can see the results right away.

 Just a simple note card sectioned and numbered

He already filled his first card and earned a reward!

SO we are keeping our fingers crossed that we will be able to start managing this without needing to see a doctor.  I have a LOT of research to do yet and I am sure the road will still be bumpy. I am just hoping for a little relief and helping Aiden understand better what we are asking him and relieve some of his anxiety in a peaceful manner.