Gay, when is it a social choice?

    This is a subject that is much discussed over dinner at my house and quite often we are divided with some common ground.  It's made me stop and look at the people around me and think about what I am seeing.  As a whole I think the American culture has gone down the drain and I believe there are numerous reasons for it.  But that is another blog for another day.  Today I would like to take some time to discuss the gay culture.  I will make this promise in the first paragraph of this subject, I promise to do my very best to not come across as offensive.  There will be no bashing gays only questions to find an understanding and issues to raise questions that maybe you haven't thought of before.

     Since the time I was able to make a decision on what I really felt about social issues I have always believed that being gay wasn't really a choice made by the individual.  It was something that just happened. They woke up and found themselves attracted to the same sex.  I've found this to be a true statement made by many gays I have been friends with, been acquainted with or have had the discussion with.  Male or female.  It's just not something they can explain. Some of those people have been with the opposite sex and were unhappy  the whole time because "it didn't feel right".  I have also known gays that seem to not have any idea as to why they are gay.  They can't explain their reasons or desires and they tend to be pretty extreme when it comes to announcing themselves.  This is a personal observation they may differ from your own.

    Those two situations are what stems the debate of  "Is it genetic or is it social".   Is there such a thing as a social gay and are they really born with an abnormality in their genes that makes them seek the same sex?  I found this article by Live Science that touches on some research done on genes of women who had at least 2 gay sons.  It's essentially a step in the direction of showing there is an actual abnormality that can cause a person to be gay.  I have also read a few articles on studies done with twins.  Identical twins were more likely to both be homosexual vs fraternal twins.  Then there are people like Sheryl Swoops who come out and say they made the choice to be gay.  Not because they felt they were helplessly attracted to the same sex.  In her case she just happened to fall in love with another women and that's how it ended up for her.

     I don't think there is yet enough research to say 100% that being gay is a genetic issue, but I do believe that day is coming.  What's going to lag is the research that says being gay is also a cultural issue.  There's never going to be a study done on being gay because it's the "IN" thing to do right now.  And I do believe being gay is in.  And not just the "I'm gay" but the "I'm gay, look at me act like a dumb ass in public because I am gay and I say it's ok or I am gonna say you are being unfair" type of gays that seem to be emerging at alarming rates.    I see it everyday now and I am just baffled by it. 

    I believe our media makes gays into heroes and portrays it as normal.  I think it makes it easier for people to get on the bandwagon so to speak.   At this time it can be considered a fad, like the most recent style.  Gay is a style right now.  It's in , it's hip, it's controversial.  What self attention seeking person who likes extremes wouldn't consider wearing the outfit for a while?  It's a great way to get looked at in public and its a great way to get sympathy.  It's a great way to get people talking about YOU.  What's sad is the "social gays" are giving the real honest gays a bad wrap.  

    Next time you are having an outing really take a look around you.  Next time you watch TV , can see the media glorifying the lifestyle?  Next time you talk to a gay friend, ask them.  Engage in that conversation and find out for yourself.  I think the social lifestyle that is being led has the potential to become a dangerous one in our country, not only for the health of our upcoming generations, but for our overall well being and prosperity.  

      

      

A great Friday spent with Skip

Skip is on his final two weeks of leave before he has to deploy next month.  So I have taken a few extra days off here and there to spend some extra time while Aiden is in pre-school.   Today we had an adventure!

We dropped Aiden off at school at 830 this morning and headed over to a small breakfast cafe called 'The Chef' in downtown Manhattan.  We had a nice quiet small breakfast and coffee and the service was amazing!  We spent about an hour there.   Once we were done we headed back to our house to feed Yoshi and went to the mall for a walk around before heading to the Insect Garden on KSU's  campus.  They have a HUGE garden they grow in the spring as part of their studies and they have an old stone barn turned into a bug house and place of study.  It's only 2 dollars to go in and they will answer all kinds of questions if you have any.  The girl who was there today was SUPER nice.

They have like 20 different kinds of cockroaches. Everything from the regular house roach to gigantic roaches the size of my palm.  It was nuts.  Stick bugs, tarantulas, beetles, millipedes and centipedes, just to name a few.  There were setting up an exhibit that will be housing a leaf cutter colony of ants in a few months.  I will be going back for more photos!

The best part was they offered spider-ling tarantulas for sale.  And they were only 15 bucks!  AND AND AND they happened to have a couple of wild caught specimens produce some egg sacks they gave a good clutch and they offered a free bee.  SO I got 2 for $15 plus tax.  Excellent buy if I do say so myself.

We got done there and went to Wal-Mart for a few things, too cold to leave the little guys outside, so into my purse they went. Yep, I went shopping not only at Wal-Mart with them in my bag, but to Petco and Bed, Bath and Beyond.  It was awesome.

We picked up little man about an hour early and came home and fed the new members.  They were hungry, fed them again tonite.

So we got to spend our whole day together and we really made the best of it.  It felt good.

Now for some photos!!

And now for the photos of my new babies!!

A day off

I took today off.  I just don't have the energy to work and I really needed a ME day.  I have not been alone in this house in over 2 months and I just wanted the break.  I will have plenty of time alone once Skip is gone, but I didn't want to spend a me day wallowing in my own sorrow!

I took Aiden to preschool and he didn't cry this morning.  He went right in and started doing his thing.  I was able to leave without his noticing.  I was back home by 845 and did some picking up and got Yoshi's chicken cut and put away.  Got the rest of my laundry done and the kitchen is clean.  I had to clean the guest bath and OMG I was re-pissed off all over again at that girl.  There was make-up plastered all over the counter, toothpaste on the cabinet and the mirror and hair everywhere.  BUT it is clean a now and it won't be happening anymore.  I got every room in the house THROUGHLY vacuumed.  Took me at least 30 minutes, I have to do it twice before I feel like it's done.  Weird I know.

And now I am sitting here dying of pain that I have no control over.  I am working on getting up the funds to get the stupid baby stopper removed before it ruins my reproductive abilities.  Which by the way I am COMPLETELY paranoid about.  I feel like I need to get pregnant NOW just make sure everything is still working.  I don't think I will be at ease until I get this stupid thing removed.

Ok Im done now.  Happy Tuesday

Once it's been said, it can't be taken back

I have learned a lot about arguing since my relationship with Thomas.  I spent a lot of time saying nasty, mean things out of frustration.  Sometimes I could only imagine what he must have felt after I got done degrading him and making him feel more worthless than scum.  When I argue know I really think about the next sentence that is going to come out of my mouth. I really try to think about what the long term effects of what I am saying are going to be.  Am I going to regret that later? Am I going to have to explain it and apologize when all is said and done?  What kind of lasting impression is that going to leave?  This has made me a better person when it comes to arguments.  I no longer say things I will regret.  And I mean that, I don't.  Human emotion is no toy to play around with.

That being said, Skip and I aren't really people to fight and argue with each other.  We've had the most arguments over the past 4-5 months when all this Kansas stuff came down.  Now he has to go back to Iraq.  We've been under extreme amounts of stress with everything that's been going on.  We have a lot of financial strain since that girl has come to live with us.  Life gets tough and usually we manage to sail right thru things.

After last nites argument, that will be the 3rd big argument we have had since coming to Kansas.  All three have been about the same things, money and stress.  I've left all three of these arguments feeling like I am the root cause the issues.   I am not as self sufficient as I was in Colorado, as a matter of fact for the first time in my life I actually am NOT capable of taking care of myself.  I am making less than $1000 a month.  I have never been so broke since I became an adult.  It's a very BAD feeling.  I feel like my job options are limited.  It's not that I can't do other jobs, its that daycare isn't open 24/7 like it was for me in Colorado.  I can see why single moms struggle and NEED the help they ask for.  I don't know what to do.

I also feel like I haven't done enough.  I keep up with all the laundry, I try to always get the dishes done first. Hell I have even started making the bed during the week.  I try to make sure all of Aiden's needs are met by ME. I don't want to pawn those things off on someone else.  He's mine to care for.  I keep the house vacuumed and as tidy as I can.  When something gets suggested I try to meet the suggestion.  Example, Skip doesn't like the shoe rack next to the door. I made a point last weekend to clean up the coat closet and move it in there.  Just little things like that,  I feel like I NEED to be doing these things to make up for being  financially inadequate.  

I do my best to not complain.  I know I do, we all do, but mostly I feel like I am not entitled to complain. I'm being taken care of because I can't do it for myself.  It's a terrible feeling to wake up every day knowing that.

And lastly a lesson I taught myself last nite.  I remember ALWAYS threatening Thomas with divorce.  Every argument.  Every time I had somewhere to throw the words, "this is working, I want a divorce" I did.  It was a cheap shot every time because I KNEW how mean it was.  I  KNEW how bad it hurt his feelings.

I know first hand now what it's like to be on the receiving end of that.  It makes my life feel even more unstable simply because I knew I said it to Thomas because one day I planned to act on it. The uncertainty of that is torture.

Next time you have an argument, please think about what you are about to say.  You can't take back words that have already been spoken.  You can't un-hurt the wound they caused and it leaves a scar and those don't aways fade with time.   Remember that.

Just us

Me and Yoshi are hanging out tonite.  Skip went to bed early with a bad stress headache(can't imagine why) and I'm not really ready for bed.  SO it's me and the MooCow.  He's being such a good boy laying here next to me. It's interesting to watch his actions around certain people in the house. When he's with me and Skip, he just hangs out and takes it easy. He's careful for the most part with Aiden, but is still excited and around Crystal he is totally out of control. Go figure.

Anyways, I like these nice quiet times. I can read, talk to friends and just screw around.  This has been the most relaxing hour I have had in quite a while actually.

I set up my 3 gallon fish tank for Aiden, I figure him and I will go get a fish for it on Wednesday after he gets a physical for daycare and a Hep A shot.  Poor dude.  He hates the doctor.  But I think the fish shopping will make him feel better about it.  Maybe a couple of fish....then I will have a reason to get a bigger tank.  LOL.  I'm always looking to get a bigger tank.  Its a good thing I didn't have to move with the 50 gallon.  What a nightmare that would have been.

Ok thats all I could think about.   BYE!

Having a good visit with Mom

Yep, that's right.  A GOOD visit!  She's only going to be here until tomorrow morning, but at least I got to see her for 2 days.  She was really great yesterday and filled my house with food.  She got me a new stove top skillet for pancakes, she brought 15lbs of Krusteze pancake mix since I cant seem to find it here and frankly every other kind sucks in comparison! She even got Yoshi food for the next week.

Even though we don't always get along and sometimes I just can't stand her, she still cares enough to make sure I am OK. That alone means the world to me. I really hope that when Aiden is grown I do the same for him.

Photo Blog

Just wanted to share some photos of Yoshi I did today in the back yard since we actually had a nice day to do something!!!  ENJOY.

This one was taken after Christmas when we had the big snow, I just finally got around to editing it the way I like it.