The Birds and the Bees

I got to have "The Talk" tonite. Yes I know Aiden is much too young to be learning such things and I know this. So he wasn't the one I talked to. And I only wish I could say it was a friend's kid that I talked to because they couldn't. Oh no. Worse. I got to have "The Talk" with my mother. Yes I know it was her job to have this discussion with me as a pre-teen, but I relied heavily on books and the Internet to fill in the giant gaps in education that she failed to educate me on. I know you are dying to know what happened, so here it is.

It stared with, "Can I get your honest opinion on something?"

"Well sure, but it is going to be my honest opinion and you might not like it."

My mother goes on to tell me she has found male enhancement drugs in your husbands dresser. Ok stop, small history lesson so that you can understand why she is asking me about this. They haven't done anything in almost 4 years. Seriously, nothing more than a good-bye peck. Not even an actual kiss, a peck.

I told her she really wasn't going to like what I had to say,but she wanted to know anyways. i told her that he had the right to seek something physical elsewhere since she wasn't willing to give it up. We are all human and we have those needs and they need to be met. Physical needs don't count as cheating as far as I am concerned. Yeah...she didn't know what to say.

So the conversation went in the way of explaining sex and how it actually works. I actually had to explain that men make 100,000+ sperm a day and that they actually NEEDED to let that out. Um...she didn't know that. She thought it just got re-absorbed. My mother was amazed at my wealth of knowledge on sex and how it works. I mean I went as far as to explain to her what happens in our brains when we climax. My poor mother. No wonder she told me," sex gets you pregnant and it gets you STD's." That's literally all she new.