That's at least what I would have named this article posted by The Frisky on CNN.com. The reasons stated by these women for not getting married are among the stupidest I have seen. I would like to share them with you.
"Both of us have had bad marriages and divorces. When we got together, it wasn't supposed to be a forever thing. Now I realize if I had married him to begin with, I wouldn't be so against marriage, but we are happy the way things are and neither of us want that to change."
-- Suzanne A., Charlottesville, Virginia
So uh, what was it supposed to be? A temporary relationship? Because that makes so much sense as does your reason for not getting married. Wait..is that really a reason?
"We didn't get married for a number of reasons: the timing was never right, we were never sure of each other, we were always more focused on just ourselves instead of each other, we weren't sure if we were always right for the other. We were the complete opposites, we were like oil and water in the relationship, and we fought all the time, but we loved each other unconditionally."
-- Diana B., Rogers, Arkansas
Never a right time? More focused on ourselves? Weren't sure if you were right for each other? Then how the Hell is is actually possible to love each other unconditionally???? Sounds pretty damn selfish to me. Probably shouldn't have even been in that relationship.
"I just don't see the point in getting a piece of paper to 'complete' our relationship. We have been together for 15 years and we feel married. We plan to be together forever, but I just don't see why getting that on paper really matters."
--Shannon M., Newark, New Jersey
Wow, if the institution of marriage is just a piece of paper to you then you shouldn't have the right to "feel married" because without that paper you just can't be married, sorry.
"To be perfectly honest, not being married but just being together allows me to feel free while still being in a loving and committed relationship. I have always had a fear of commitment and not being married allows me to not feel this fear, while still being with the man I love."
-- Sarah L., Lodi, Ohio
This is a lame ass way of saying she wants to hold control over her boyfriend by being able to walk away whenever she so feels cause shes got her panties in a wad. She's not actually required to be committed. Way to show your man you want to stick around.
"I do not want to feel pressured to change my last name. I know this may sound petty and trivial, but in my family the wife must take her husband's last name and I do not want this. By simply living together and not marrying I do not have to worry about this."
-- Lisa C., Iowa
The only thing dumber I have ever head was the answer from my ex-mother in law when I asked her why she doesn't become a citizen of the US. Her answer, "Because I don't want jury duty" Nuff said.
"I don't want to be burdened with the 'wife role,' and by not marrying I feel it helps us retain the equality in our relationship. I fear that marriage could cause him to want me to be a stay-at-home mom, and that is the one thing I have never wanted to be. We do want kids someday, but we both agreed that I could continue to work and I fear marriage would change this."
-- Cynthia G., Marion, Illinois
Equality? You want to be a man's equal? Sorry honey the last I checked you had a set of ovaries, not testicles. Way to tell your guy he's not good enough for you. He's not good enough to provide for you.
"Marriage would put too much stress on us and our relationship. Things are fine the way they are, so why change this? I fear that things like paying for a wedding would add stress, and since I was just laid off from my job, we do not need anymore stress."
-- Lindy M. and Jodie, West Virginia
I don't know where on the scale of lame excuses to rate this. Since when does getting married cost a ton? There are such things as civil unions ya know. The court house and if you are at home not working and he's supporting you, well you owe him a damn commitment. Another woman making her guy feel not good enough.
"My parents lived together for 17 years before they got married. During the 17 years they just lived together, things were great. I remember us always being so happy. Then, four years after getting married, things started to turn sour and a year later they divorced. I fear that marriage would do the same thing to my current relationship of 11 years."
-- Erin J., Phoenix, Arizona
No. Your parents had issues before they got married. They succumbed to pressure.
"I do not believe in God, but my boyfriend does. The way things are now, this is not a problem. But if we got married, I feel it would become an issue when it comes to things like marrying in a church, deciding what to teach our children, etc. If we remain unmarried, I do not see this becoming a major problem."
-- Matilda F., Buffalo, New York
Then you two shouldn't be together. You can't grow your relationship. What's the point? It just going to get to a stagnant point and then what? And are you saying that if you have kids and you aren't married you will avoid the "what do we teach our kids" dilemma?
"Every one of our friends who are married seem incredibly stressed and on edge since they married. I do not want this for Tony and me. We have been together for four years, and we do have the occasional spat, but we are happy and relatively stress-free, and I feel not getting married will keep things this way for us."
-- Jessica M., Minneapolis, Minnesota
Your friends had issues before they got married. If you take a closer look at people who aren't married you will see they have issues too. This is you listening to media and reading articles on places like CNN.com that tell you how bad marriage is to a relationship. Sad that you can't have a mind of your own about marriage and you are just allowing yourself to be shuffled along with the rest of America like a heard of cattle heading for slaughter.
"I just don't see the point in paying money and having a wedding to prove how much we love each other. We have been together for seven years and have three amazing children together. We have four cats, a dog, an aquarium, a nice little house, are financially stable, and most of all we are incredibly happy with things just the way they are."
-- Samantha T., Seattle, Washington
This is the second reference to money I have seen. Being married has nothing to do with spending a huge wad of cash to get married. It can be as cheap or as expensive as you want it. A women with 3 kids that doesn't want to get married is basically saying," I can pack up and take all the kids any time I want" This is not a good enough reason. You have a family. Make it whole.
"Fear. Yes, fear. I am terrified that marriage will ruin what we already have. What I see everyday as a divorce attorney is marriage often leads to divorce. I do not want Aiden and I to become a statistic. I want us to remain happy and in love, just as we are now."
-- Amelia P., Houston, Texas
Therapy. Yes therapy. I am terrified that you will never be able to commit because you are afraid to be a government number. Get over it. Tell Aiden you fear he's not man enough for you to marry and you are too worried about what everyone else is doing.
"Simply put, I have been divorced once and he has been divorced once. Neither of us is in a hurry to marry, and since we are both in our mid-50s, why marry now? We have been happy for 12 years and marriage will not make us any happier."
-- Eleanor M., Jacksonville, Florida
Ok so this one is really the only one that doesn't bother me. They are in their 50's and I don't think any more kids are gonna be involved and probably no career changes etc. And they probably just sit on the porch and watch the sun set every day with a glass of wine. Good for them.
"This is a question I am asked often, specifically by my female friends and family members. To be perfectly honest, I do not have an exact answer. I just have a bad feeling that marriage isn't something Keith and I should do. I can't really explain it, but the feeling is there, and it gets stronger and stronger every time someone asks me why I do not want to get married. In the end, I will continue to go with my gut and just stay the way we are now."
-- Amanda W., San Diego, California
A bad feeling? You won't commit because of a "bad feeling". Well tell me something Amanda, do you really think this relationship is something you should be embarking on? What else do you get a "bad feeling" about?
"I really do not think about this unless Adam wants to talk about possibly getting married in the future. Two years ago we got engaged and even started making some wedding plans. During that time we fought and fought and fought over the smallest, most insignificant things. Once we called off the engagement and stopped making wedding plans, the petty fights stopped. Do flowers, an expensive dress and a fancy reception hall really indicate how much two people love each other? For some people the answer may be yes, but for Adam and I, mutual respect, honesty, loyalty, support and humor are how we express our love. It's worked for a long time now, and I see it working forever."
-- Meehgan M., Kansas City, Missouri
SO how hard is it to get married without the flowers, the white dress, the cake and without gobs of money? You guys can't even get through petty fights and that's WHY you aren't getting married? Give me a break!
So there ya have it folks. Good reasons to not get married. I think its simply a bunch of women that want control and are probably high maintenance. I would be interested in seeing if their guys actually feel the same way. I bet they don't. Marriage is good for men. They want to provide for us. They want to be needed. It is simply not our place to tell a man, " No, you may not act like a man. I want you to be my pet". Sorry ladies, they don't deserve to be walked around on a leash and spanked when you think they are being naughty....unless you are into that, but that's another topic!
Christine
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