The Question With a Simple Answer

"How do you do it?" -that was the message I got on my phone 2 days ago.

"Do what?  OMG!  What did I do?!?!"- my response

"How do you not fight with Skip?" -the Golden Question.

Uh....that's easy, I don't fight.  I choose not to.


I think my answer must have been  too simple and lacked the complication that was expected to answer such a question.  I don't know if it taught a lesson or not.  Don't get me wrong, we have had our fights and the few we have had were doozys.  They were certainly enough to make me question why I stayed in the relationship, but those questions are always answered and we rebound and life moves on.  When we think about those fights we don't get mad all over again, we actually get really upset with ourselves and apologize all over again for causing that kind of hurt.  There just isn't really anything worth the extra time it takes to fight it out.

I could easily get angry and pick a fight every time I have to sort the laundry.  I mean after all I have a 3 compartment hamper, darks, whites, linens.  How hard is that?  Skip just throws everything on top.  I don't march out of the laundry room every weekend and point my finger at him and tell him how hard he is making my life and how difficult he makes it to do laundry.  It takes 5 minutes to sort.  Who cares?  I am happy to spend 5 minutes sorting the laundry VS investing hours of discontent and misery with fighting about it.  Screw that.  I would rather be happy.

I NEVER make the bed.  NEVER EVER.  Not even if I am the last one in it.  Skip would come home everyday during lunch and make the bed.  It takes what, 4-5 minutes?  He doesn't care, he has never said anything to me about it.  He likes to have a made bed.  So he invested a few minutes making the bed and everyone is happy.  He doesn't invest any irritation in it.  Takes too much time and once again we would rather spend that being happy.

Its the same story for the dishes, dog poop, dog food, bathing Aiden, cleaning the house etc.  We see it, we do it.  No matter how little or how much the other person has or has not done.  We don't bitch about or point fingers.  We don't play the "I did more than you" card.  It's not really fair.   We just care about taking care of each other.

The only rule in my house," Is treat the other the way you expect them to treat you".  We live and breathe it.  We never walk out of the house on each other without saying " I love you" when we are pissed at the other.   How miserable would you be if your partner got killed by some freak accident and the last words you had were angry?  No way.  I couldn't live with myself knowing they died thinking about our last words.

It's important to just always be the bigger person no matter what. People fight because they like to play the "well he/she did it!  I can do it too!!"   Give me a break.  That's childish.  Grow up.  You aren't the other person.  You are you.  Have some respect for yourself and your feelings.  Have respect for other's feelings and you might see what I am saying here.

I'm not perfect.  I've broke my own rules, but I always see that and get mad at myself for doing that.  I don't break them often.  Neither does Skip. There are a lot of things that can make or break a relationship, but I will say most the crap that gets people in fights is no where near the "break it" point.  It's just petty BS to get attention and to have drama.  Make your drama without fighting, it's a lot more fun that way.