Kids Dating

I have to talk about this one tonite because it bothers me.  Children should not be dating.  They should be taught the importance of not moving from boy to boy or from girl to girl at a young age.  Dating is courtship, courtship should be leading to a serious commitment...marriage.  A child cannot get married.  They can't even comprehend the idea of a life long commitment when they are allowed to move from person to person, handing themselves off to whomever looks their way.  There is no way they can learn how to have a lasting relationship through the good times and bad times when they break up and date someone new every other week.

I didn't date simply because I was told NO.  There was never any reason other than, "because I said so."  Mom and Dad divorced when I was about 13 and I got stuck with my mom who didn't teach me anything but bitterness.  I have no doubt I would have never gotten mixed up with my ex-husband if I had been taught the importance of a relationship. That 2 people should compliment each other.  Be one together and be strong together.  A relationship should be about building a better life and achieving goals that mean something to you as a couple.  I am very lucky to have found someone who helped me understand this. We are one and we make each other stronger.

A girl or boy of 12, 13, 14 etc is just not going to be able to understand that. Not to mention at that age they are still being cared for by their parents and there is simply no need to have someone else to take care of you.  You can't even really take care of yourself without an adult at that age.  You are still learning your strengths and weaknesses.  You still don't know who you are.  How can you honestly know at that age if another child is going to strengthen you?  What do you really have to offer that the parents aren't already providing?  A women provides a clean home, soft shoulder for ones head, meals and tender hands to care for children.  A man provides income, a firm voice in important matters, he is a role model to his children, he keeps his family safe.   Children cannot offer any of these things, because they are still children running to their mother's shoulder, still children being protected by their fathers.

It should not be ok for a parent to watch and allow their child to date one kid this week and a new one next week.  It should NOT be ok to watch their daughter be treated like a pass around nor their sons being disrespectful by passing said girls around.  What are we teaching our girls?   That it is not important to have some self respect and dignity?  That it is ok to just move from boy to boy and not think a thing about it?  Our boys, what is being taught to them?   That it is ok to have a harem of girls? That anything lasting is not worth it? These actions are going to follow them into adulthood and seriously impair their ability to find someone and hold onto them.  They are going to give themselves away who knows how many times before getting married. Nothing will be special when that day comes.  Then if they do ever get married, what are the chances they will stay together?  What's to say they decide that it is easier to just pack bags and find someone else based on what they learned in their past?

I want my kids to know there is someone out there that needs them.  They don't need to play the field as a child to find that person.  I want them to be selective and careful about who they choose to promise the rest of their lives to, because I really want it to be a one time thing for them.  I want them to really have an understanding of the importance of love and what it means.  What it does to life, the wonders of it, the trials of it.  Love is not easy, but it's not hard.  It's full filling.  You aren't going to get that by voluntarily being a pass around.  You won't be able to appreciate one person for who they are without comparing them to all the people before them.  No one deserves that.

Get a handle on your kids now. Teach them that marriage and the relationship that leads to it is a sacred thing and should not be taken for granted, that it is not found after the 100th person you dated.  Teach them to be kids now and teach them the responsibility they will have to a spouse. Prepare them by example, give them something to look up to, something to desire because it is such a good thing. Leave no question in their eyes about the importance of a mature, healthy relationship.  Your kids will thank you for it.