I really do try my best to just be happy and satisfied with all I have and everywhere I am going. My life truly makes me happy and I don't often wish for more than I can give myself, but sometimes I see things and get mad because it's simply not fair.
I went to pick Aiden up today and this girl and guy pull up to Christa's driveway and get out. Just looking at these people I judged they were probably pretty good people. Clean, dressed normally and carried themselves in a positive posture. Well Christa tells me this is a friend of Thomass from school. I was instantly mad because he always manages to be everyone but himself around other people. He gains the trust and friendship of good people and that's bullshit. He still doesn't pay me a dime. Still doesn't care for his kid. And he still lacks any kind of morals. Why the hell should he be deserving of anything good?
This brings me to my next point. Thomas is going to school FULL TIME and its being paid for my his parents. He hasn't done a DAMN thing to earn it and his meal ticket is totally free!! He doesn't have to work. He pays no rent. He has no job. He doesn't have to take care of Aiden. He doesn't have to provide any benefits for anyone. And here he is getting rewarded and getting the opportunity to do something. WTF!!
I have to work full time, take care of Aiden, take care of a house, maintain a relationship and so on and so on. There is not a soul out there giving me a free ride and I have earned it. Yea sure I shouldn't care and I should be grateful for all I have because it was earned. Yes that is something to be VERY proud of and I really am. But damn I can't even get state assistance. It's all so unnerving.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Getting things sorted
Well 3 weeks till the big move and I have started really sorting thru things. As usual I am too lazy to have a sale of any kind so I wil be donating pretty much everything I dont need.
I worked on Aidens room today and holy cow Im not even close to being done. I only managed to get the clothing sorted out. Christa is ALWAYS finding more clothes for Aiden and she is ALWAYS giving them to me. Im not complaining, it saves me a ton of cash, but he has so much he never gets to wear it all. But she keeps buying it. He has enough to get him thru this entire next winter already and she told me she has more in the closet!! I have a big black bag full of clothes that dont fit, fit and stuff I dont like.
He still had 22 pairs of shorts(no lie), 12 of those pairs are navy blue. WTF. We have 16 pairs of jeans and 20 something winter shirts. That doesnt include the short sleeved shrirts I have to count. I have no more hangers left. He even has 5 hoodies. It's insane.
If I try to give it back she gets all butt hurt about it. So I just smile and take it. Someone elses kid is going to be well dressed this winter, GoodWill here I come!!
I worked on Aidens room today and holy cow Im not even close to being done. I only managed to get the clothing sorted out. Christa is ALWAYS finding more clothes for Aiden and she is ALWAYS giving them to me. Im not complaining, it saves me a ton of cash, but he has so much he never gets to wear it all. But she keeps buying it. He has enough to get him thru this entire next winter already and she told me she has more in the closet!! I have a big black bag full of clothes that dont fit, fit and stuff I dont like.
He still had 22 pairs of shorts(no lie), 12 of those pairs are navy blue. WTF. We have 16 pairs of jeans and 20 something winter shirts. That doesnt include the short sleeved shrirts I have to count. I have no more hangers left. He even has 5 hoodies. It's insane.
If I try to give it back she gets all butt hurt about it. So I just smile and take it. Someone elses kid is going to be well dressed this winter, GoodWill here I come!!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Country songs about girls butts.......
So there are a couple songs on the radio by country artists that are about gir'ls bootys and they are quite entertaining and Im not the least offended. The most well known one by Trace Atkins, Hinky Tonk badonadonk. LOL and there is an even newer one, but I dont know the name of it. Something along the lines of a ba dang dang dang.
Well the funniest and most entertaining part of these songs is Aiden. My kid doesnt sing along to any music, he doesnt generally act like he is following along UNLESS one of these 2 songs hits the raido. Then he is ALLLLL about singing. Oh yes my little kid is in the back seat singing Badonkadonk and dang dang dang. WTF.
I guess after all I have been thru I am happy my boy is singing about girls big bootys!!!
Well the funniest and most entertaining part of these songs is Aiden. My kid doesnt sing along to any music, he doesnt generally act like he is following along UNLESS one of these 2 songs hits the raido. Then he is ALLLLL about singing. Oh yes my little kid is in the back seat singing Badonkadonk and dang dang dang. WTF.
I guess after all I have been thru I am happy my boy is singing about girls big bootys!!!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I have a Question
So this morning as I was waiting for my breakfast at the cafeteria I was watching a special on what couples do with their extra embryos after fertility treatment. It was said that 33 precent donate to other couples and up to 66 percent donate to science. Either one of these options is fine by me, but this is not my question.
My question is more directed to the people who believe the embryo has a soul. The people who think the minute conception happens, God has given the mass of cells a soul. What exactly does the "soul" do while it's waiting on ice? If the embryo is sitting for a few years, then is the "soul" just sitting there waiting? And is it really cold?
Yes I know a sick/strange/jerky question to ask, but I must know.
My question is more directed to the people who believe the embryo has a soul. The people who think the minute conception happens, God has given the mass of cells a soul. What exactly does the "soul" do while it's waiting on ice? If the embryo is sitting for a few years, then is the "soul" just sitting there waiting? And is it really cold?
Yes I know a sick/strange/jerky question to ask, but I must know.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
It's another week
Well one more week gone. They just keep going by faster and faster it seems. But I guess that only happens when you are counting down to something. I have a new shift at work starting Tuesday. I have to be there by 6, but I get out at 230. Then it's off to my new second job grooming dogs. joy. I have a good friend that owns a shop and Im just doing that to get some spare cash in my pocket for the move.
Yoshi is huge. 40lbs now and we still have about another 80 to go. LOL. He outweighs Aiden by 5lbs and his head is nearly at Aiden's shoulders!!! Poor kid has to hold his hands as high as he can to keep the dog from checking out what he's holding.
Im sure I have lots of stories to tell, but none really come to mind right now. I'll leave you with some photos instead.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Let me tell you a story
Since the beginning of time(my time anyways) I've never heard a comment come from my mothers mouth that would indicate she was proud of me in anyway. This is really no lie. I would remember if one was ever made. She instead likes to make comments that would indicate I was incompetent in anything I do. My biggest disappointment to her is my apparent lack of good parenting skills. I'm just flat out no good.
Since the day Aiden was conceived she has done nothing but reminded me of how dumb the decision was and how I am not capable of handling a child. If Aiden is sick she accuses me of not caring and not getting him to the doctor, she tells me I'd just as soon watch him die before I had the brains enough to see he was sick. She tells me I wouldn't have the brains enough to take him to see a doctor until he had bled to death after a fall because I would tell him to " Shake it off, you'll be fine". Yea for three years I haven't heard a SINGLE praise from her about me and my son. I'm a total loser.
I will say YES I am the parent that may wait just a day longer to see if the snotty nose gets worse or better if there's no fever to worry about. YES I am the parent that cheers at my kid when he falls down. If he's not bleeding, broken, or hasn't busted his head I can see no harm in teaching him to be tough. YES I am the parent that knows sometimes kids puke because they eat the strangest combos and it doesn't mean he has West Nile or the Swine Flu. Aiden has seen the doctor probably about 7 times outside the normal infant/toddler checkups and I have saved myself a fortune in co-pays by not being paranoid.
Ever since I decided to move to Kansas with Skip, Mom has upped the nasty comments and demeaning attitude. Shes said everything from," Well you better start getting used to taking care of things on your own" and "Well I most concerned about Aiden's well being because I wont be there to make sure he's taken care of" It's taking every bit of energy I can summon up to keep my mouth shut and not let her have it. Most of you know how much of a struggle that would be for me.
So flash forward to the past weekish and Aiden has had some digestive upset. It started after Christa gave him one of those Dan-Active yogurt things. Aiden can't have yogurt. It makes him sick. So I can't really say what Christa was thinking when she gave it to him. This resulted in some pretty nasty diaper changes for about a week and I think it's still not quite right, but better than it was at least. Mom has of coarse accused me of not taking care of him and had told me mult times that he prolly has swine flu or something and I should take him in to be tested. Yea right. Last Wednesday Aiden threw up when I woke him up and again when we got to mom's house, she was watching him that day. It's hard to say what cause it. But there was no fever, rash ect. And it was just the one time. For the rest of that week and this week he has been great. Diaper changes are about normal, there's been no signs of illness.Aiden has been his normal, rambunctious self. I take him to mom's house yesterday for her day and she offered to keep him the nite so Skip and I could have some time together. I have no problem with that, I know she takes care of him. Well about 10 am I am at work and I get a text from her saying he has terrible diarrhea! I tell her he's been fine all week and that is quite the surprise to hear. She sends back a smart ass comment about how Aiden must just save it for her. At 4 when I leave work I call to see how the day was and how he was doing and she tells me she has had to change his diaper 3 times now because of his upset stomach. I tell her to just keep him hydrated and let me know if he gets any kind of fever so I can decide if he needs to be seen.
Skip and I took Yoshi to the dog park at Bear Creek last nite for some socializing and mom tried calling. I was in no mood to talk so I let it go to VM. 5 minutes later she calls again and I answer because I was worried that is was some kind of emergency. She starts telling me how he it puking all over the place, that she has had to change his diaper 6 more times since I called last and that something is SERIOUSLY WRONG!! I of coarse don't believe a word she is saying because she makes things up and always wants Aiden to be sick so she can prove what a bad parent I am. So I ask if there is any fever and she says no. I ask what she fed him and she rambled off a menu that I saw nothing wrong with and I asked what his energy level was and she said he seemed happy, plus I could hear him in the back laughing. So I tell her he was fine all week and it must have been something he ate, keep fluids in him. I have no concern because I know she's lying. Any kid that sick wouldn't be in good spirits. She starts insisting that he go see a doctor right away and I tell her I will have him see a doctor on Monday and that's when she tells me she can take him for me because I will be too busy with the dog. Yes Yoshi has an appt with the vet Monday at 430, but that's not too much to handle. This is where I lose my cool. I tell her "No, I can take Aiden to the doctor because after all like YOU said I better get used to doing all on my own since I wont have any help soon. I think I am capable of caring for my own child" She starts giving me all kinds of a BS attitude and I finally just tell her she right, he prolly has some kind of stomach cancer and I would rather watch him die a terrible death because I don't believe in doctors. I tell her I am incompetent and hate my child,but I guess I will be forced to make him see a doctor on Monday so I don't look like a loser.
She brings him home this morning and wont even walk up my driveway and shes acting like she's had no sleep, so I ask if Aiden had any more "episodes" last nite and she tells me not to worry about it, he'll be fine. I told her that was not what I asked and I repeated myself again more firmly and she told me he was up ALL NITE puking and hadn't slept at all. Aiden is currently running around in the yard with Yoshi and spraying the hose. He's eating and happy. This kid is amazing for being so damn sick right now.
I don't know what to do about this situation. I don't want to be my normal self and cause her a ton of heartache, but at the same time the things she is doing are not right and not fair to me. It causes me a ton of stress. Maybe I should just stop trying to make her happy for fear of hurting her feelings, after all mine aren't being taken into consideration.
Since the day Aiden was conceived she has done nothing but reminded me of how dumb the decision was and how I am not capable of handling a child. If Aiden is sick she accuses me of not caring and not getting him to the doctor, she tells me I'd just as soon watch him die before I had the brains enough to see he was sick. She tells me I wouldn't have the brains enough to take him to see a doctor until he had bled to death after a fall because I would tell him to " Shake it off, you'll be fine". Yea for three years I haven't heard a SINGLE praise from her about me and my son. I'm a total loser.
I will say YES I am the parent that may wait just a day longer to see if the snotty nose gets worse or better if there's no fever to worry about. YES I am the parent that cheers at my kid when he falls down. If he's not bleeding, broken, or hasn't busted his head I can see no harm in teaching him to be tough. YES I am the parent that knows sometimes kids puke because they eat the strangest combos and it doesn't mean he has West Nile or the Swine Flu. Aiden has seen the doctor probably about 7 times outside the normal infant/toddler checkups and I have saved myself a fortune in co-pays by not being paranoid.
Ever since I decided to move to Kansas with Skip, Mom has upped the nasty comments and demeaning attitude. Shes said everything from," Well you better start getting used to taking care of things on your own" and "Well I most concerned about Aiden's well being because I wont be there to make sure he's taken care of" It's taking every bit of energy I can summon up to keep my mouth shut and not let her have it. Most of you know how much of a struggle that would be for me.
So flash forward to the past weekish and Aiden has had some digestive upset. It started after Christa gave him one of those Dan-Active yogurt things. Aiden can't have yogurt. It makes him sick. So I can't really say what Christa was thinking when she gave it to him. This resulted in some pretty nasty diaper changes for about a week and I think it's still not quite right, but better than it was at least. Mom has of coarse accused me of not taking care of him and had told me mult times that he prolly has swine flu or something and I should take him in to be tested. Yea right. Last Wednesday Aiden threw up when I woke him up and again when we got to mom's house, she was watching him that day. It's hard to say what cause it. But there was no fever, rash ect. And it was just the one time. For the rest of that week and this week he has been great. Diaper changes are about normal, there's been no signs of illness.Aiden has been his normal, rambunctious self. I take him to mom's house yesterday for her day and she offered to keep him the nite so Skip and I could have some time together. I have no problem with that, I know she takes care of him. Well about 10 am I am at work and I get a text from her saying he has terrible diarrhea! I tell her he's been fine all week and that is quite the surprise to hear. She sends back a smart ass comment about how Aiden must just save it for her. At 4 when I leave work I call to see how the day was and how he was doing and she tells me she has had to change his diaper 3 times now because of his upset stomach. I tell her to just keep him hydrated and let me know if he gets any kind of fever so I can decide if he needs to be seen.
Skip and I took Yoshi to the dog park at Bear Creek last nite for some socializing and mom tried calling. I was in no mood to talk so I let it go to VM. 5 minutes later she calls again and I answer because I was worried that is was some kind of emergency. She starts telling me how he it puking all over the place, that she has had to change his diaper 6 more times since I called last and that something is SERIOUSLY WRONG!! I of coarse don't believe a word she is saying because she makes things up and always wants Aiden to be sick so she can prove what a bad parent I am. So I ask if there is any fever and she says no. I ask what she fed him and she rambled off a menu that I saw nothing wrong with and I asked what his energy level was and she said he seemed happy, plus I could hear him in the back laughing. So I tell her he was fine all week and it must have been something he ate, keep fluids in him. I have no concern because I know she's lying. Any kid that sick wouldn't be in good spirits. She starts insisting that he go see a doctor right away and I tell her I will have him see a doctor on Monday and that's when she tells me she can take him for me because I will be too busy with the dog. Yes Yoshi has an appt with the vet Monday at 430, but that's not too much to handle. This is where I lose my cool. I tell her "No, I can take Aiden to the doctor because after all like YOU said I better get used to doing all on my own since I wont have any help soon. I think I am capable of caring for my own child" She starts giving me all kinds of a BS attitude and I finally just tell her she right, he prolly has some kind of stomach cancer and I would rather watch him die a terrible death because I don't believe in doctors. I tell her I am incompetent and hate my child,but I guess I will be forced to make him see a doctor on Monday so I don't look like a loser.
She brings him home this morning and wont even walk up my driveway and shes acting like she's had no sleep, so I ask if Aiden had any more "episodes" last nite and she tells me not to worry about it, he'll be fine. I told her that was not what I asked and I repeated myself again more firmly and she told me he was up ALL NITE puking and hadn't slept at all. Aiden is currently running around in the yard with Yoshi and spraying the hose. He's eating and happy. This kid is amazing for being so damn sick right now.
I don't know what to do about this situation. I don't want to be my normal self and cause her a ton of heartache, but at the same time the things she is doing are not right and not fair to me. It causes me a ton of stress. Maybe I should just stop trying to make her happy for fear of hurting her feelings, after all mine aren't being taken into consideration.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Laundry
I was walking around work today doing my usual people watching and I thought about something as I looked at what some of the girls were wearing.
On avarage I wear about 3 pairs of jeans a week. Prolly about 7-9 shirts/tank tops, at least 9 or 10 pairs of undies and a few bras. That makes for quite a load of laundy. Not to mention all the junk Skip and Aiden wear.
I saw a bunch of girls wearing 2 or 3 shirts layered today ann some with layered bottems. Dont get me wrong they dress it well, but DAMN how much laundry do they have at the end of the week!!!
On avarage I wear about 3 pairs of jeans a week. Prolly about 7-9 shirts/tank tops, at least 9 or 10 pairs of undies and a few bras. That makes for quite a load of laundy. Not to mention all the junk Skip and Aiden wear.
I saw a bunch of girls wearing 2 or 3 shirts layered today ann some with layered bottems. Dont get me wrong they dress it well, but DAMN how much laundry do they have at the end of the week!!!
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