A letter to life, "Fuck you back"

Dear Life,

       Do you think that you might be able to play a little more fair? Don't you think you should even things out for me?  After I all I do everything I can to make sure I am putting in what I should be getting back.  I don't lie to people.  I don't steal, cheat, murder or put undo personal stress on anybody.  I take all your beatings day in and day out.  I am thankful for every friend you give me.  I am thankful for every day you give me to live. I am thankful that I don't have to spend my day to day life struggling because I work hard to prevent that. However I am sick of these tests, challenges and experiences that reduce me to tears and extreme anger.  I am sick of having to question it and tell myself there is a reason for everything.  I am so sick of all your reasons.  I am sick of your shitty decisions.  How about an answer now? How about not waiting to show me later why it happened now? 

I am sick of crying everyday for everything I always feel like I am losing at your hand.  Quit giving it and changing you damn mind.  I hate you for that.  Quit giving me shit I don't want and leaving it my job to clean it all up. Is it so hard to rain some sunshine on my life?  Or is it so hard to show me where I can find happiness?  I don't think the way you are working right now is how to get things done.  I think you are pretty fucked up.

I have never stolen from you.  But you stole from me.  You stole something so precious that I don't think I am ever going to be able to forgive you, no matter what your reasons are.  I am done trying to justify it.  I tired and came up with a huge list of reasons that should make it all better, but the truth is none of them are good enough for what you did to me.  Nothing is good enough to explain why you are making me do this alone.  I have done almost everything alone my whole life and you know that and yet you have to top it all with this.  I am left with nothing but thoughts of what next?  What tragic thing are you preparing me for now? What do you plan to steal next?  

Fuck you life.  Fuck you